Goodbye and Good Riddance to July!

Oh July!  As much as I hate to see time fly so quickly...Im glad July is over. 

I was on such a roll!  I didn't miss a day in my weekly workouts and I was pretty compliant with my diet.  Got my measurements re-evaluated on the 11th to which I was extremely happy with...and then fell apart after that. 

I have barely stepped foot in the gym.  I could care less about exercising outside.  And my diet is the absolute shits.  

Enough whining.  I have no other excuse other than I allowed it to happen.  I stopped making these things a priority and I got slack.  And damn is it hard to get back on track!

Spartan is 18 days away...and of all the time I have had this is when I feel the laziest?!?  Talk about disappointed in myself.  Wallowing in self disgust or pity won't help either.  Getting refocused is key here. 

But it's the long weekend....

GEEZE!  The summer seems to be a never ending opportunity to make lame excuses.  

Falling off the wagon will happen - to me it is getting back on that is important.  Recognizing all my excuses fuels my determination to get over it all.  So I am glad July is over.  August has got to be better than July and I am re-focused with the 18th in sight now.  Time to get (get back to) serious!

Health, Strength, Commitment, Family

Recently my husband went to the hospital for an appendectomy.  Really - a very normal, common procedure.  I honestly wasn't all that worried...until I witnessed a very horrific and real pain attack that I could do nothing to alleviate. With all that being figured out and pain meds being given...I found myself in the gift shop doing what many women find therapeutic...Shopping.

I found these in the hospital gift shop.  There will several other ones to choose from, but these are the few that felt right to me and given the time we were going through. 


Health - one of the most important things we all too easily take for granted.  Myself included.  Even a simple appendix inflammation and our whole world is put on hold for a short time.  Going through any illness or surgery makes you appreciate your health a little more.  And as much as I strive to nurture my own health, even all that I work towards cannot fully prevent such things like appendix problems. 


Commitment is a necessity.  Sure it can waiver at times but it is an undeniable necessity.  You need the commitment to work through the challenges, work towards the goal, and to bring yourself back from fall backs. It doesn't matter if it is a health related goal or just being there for your family, friends, or job - commitment is the difference between an idea and a purpose.  


Strength.  Sure, working towards and developing physical strength is important.  But strength goes beyond muscles.  The strength to endure anything and everything.  Life is a struggle.  It changes daily.  And we can never be fully prepared for every little thing it can throw at you.  Finding the strength to get through things has a lot to do with your personality, your support system, your commitment, and your resources.   For as much as strength can be emotional, you cannot deny that physical strength can offer your body greater capacity to handle stress.  Don't underestimate the impact of your physical strength on your emotional strength. 


Family.  For every joyful experience and every challenge you will go through in life you can be assured your family will be there right along side you.  Family can be a large collection of people, most related to you and others not, but regardless "family" means everything in time of need.  The generosity that family offers is beyond amazing and one will never fully come to realize just how much individual family members are willing to offer when you need them the most.  Beyond the support that family offer to you in a time of need - "family" is also one of the sole reasons for living each day.  My children, my husband, my parents, my siblings, my extended family, and my dearest friends are the most important things to me.  My commitment to them, my commitment to my health, and the strength it takes all of us as individuals and collectively to get through life is beyond description.  


So, I wear these simple rings around my neck now.  Every time I touch them or reflect in the mirror - I am reminded of a very real moment where I took the time to reflect on many things that have great impact and importance in my life.  My husband is on the mend, and life goes on.  But I need to reminded every once and a while to not take these things for granted.  


I'm sure over time they will tarnish (they were only $3.98 each at that!) but regardless - for now I am happy with my "make myself feel better" purchase that has come to mean much more than the value of each item.  


If you were to choose 4 words to hang around your neck - what would they be? and why?


R

Warning: Boobs before Love-Handles!

Let's talk about sacrifices.  

What are you willing to give up, even lose entirely, for the sake of losing weight or transforming your body?  Sure you could consider things like treats, indulgences, etc...but let me remind you of something else you will almost indefinitely find yourself wishing you didn't have to lose....

Highschool and University I was always a 34C.  Honestly - I hated them.  I always wanted them to be smaller...

Pregnancy and nursing was the most voluptuous phase at an amazing 34EE - this was just awkward.  

Post nursing - they shrank in size but not in nipple. But at least I was back down to a 34D - just a little deflated.  Finding the right bra that was capable of holding them up where they should be, but that had cups designed well enough to hide the slow deflation that was going on was a nightmare.  When I found one - I bought 3 of them.  

And then I started working out.  My boobs were always the first thing to shrink...or gain (which was always my first indication of being pregnant).  When I started bootcamps in May 2010 I was a 34C.  Check my card at Bodacious Bustlines and you will find a steady decline in the cup size and band width...picture tube socks with golf balls in the bottom!

28C.  And by C - its not a full C - its more like an B but I still need enough room for the tube socks.  Good luck finding a bra that doesn't have to be altered to be a 28 but that also has enough cup support.  And just when you thought you found the right one...you poke at them and see half the cup is hollow - yet you spilled out of the cup-size down.  Or sure - that sexy little B cup looks like it would fit - if they were hard melons not deflated balloons.   

How does one solve this problem?  Lululemon.  Sports bras. 

On a daily basis - I am in heaven! My posture is better, my shoulder are back and my pectorals are developing!  My "gals" are happily folded into their comfortable, sporty bra.  When I look at my silhouette in the mirror - I finally feel like I have the perfect proportions I have always hoped for.  Even at my largest size - I always had bras that were firm support, full coverage, and tight.  I am the same way now because I have always hated having a "bouncy" chest.  As well, with the fact they are pretty much folded into the sports bra, coupled with the cup mold, there is virtually no risk of the oh-so-obvious "nipple stands".  I am reminded of highschool and the never ending consciousness that my nipples were on high beams - usually I was non-the-wiser until it was called out in class.  

To be quite honest - in that Lululemon sports bra - I feel like myself! Strong and lean and proportional! 

Confidence has me exploring new clothing options including a lot of strapless and lower cut shirts...problem is - I cant wear strapless anything without a bra.  And finding a dressy, sexy bra that works with dress clothes, strapless tops, and low cut shirts is frustratingly impossible.  Not that I dress up often, but when I do, I actually don't want to wear a sports bra.  Although I have yet to actually resort to this...duct tape has definitely been considered.  Going commando is not an option...too much sag and sway to be tasteful.  And who has the time to try all the gimmicks that are in lingerie stores including tape strips and freaky under-bra-bras?

Would I trade my success in losing weight, gaining muscle, and changing my lifestyle for bigger boobs?  Not a chance!  And there is no way I would purposefully gain back some weight to have fuller boobs again (although I have boxed away all my larger bras for future need if and when...)  But there are certain days, certain moments, certain outfits, or certain images that I am faced with that remind me just how much impact boobs have on your femininity.  Sigh.  

So ladies - don't say I didn't warn you.  Everyone will be different - but if there is one thing that is for certain...your boobs are primarily made of fat.  And if you are on a mission to lose fat...your body will most likely give up your boobs before it will give up your love-handles.  

On the lighter side - enjoy the transformation!  Your boobs go through life just as you do!  Each stage reflects what you are going through.  Although they have shrunk - my husband definitely isn't complaining! And this is mostly because of my confidence and crazy nipple sensitivity (a perk of nursing two babies!)  

So don't mourn the loss...embrace it!  And if ever one day old age has you cringing when you look in the mirror...you can always buy new ones! ;)

5 Months In: Revisiting the Measurements

February 12, 2012

Weight:  111.2

Age:  29

Body Fat % (recalculated): 12%

Lean Body Mass:  97.86 lbs

Girth Measurements:

Shoulder: 97cm

Chest: 82.6cm

Upper Arm:  23.6cm

Waist:  67.8cm

Hip:  82.5cm

Thigh:  43cm

Calf:  29.5cm

July 12th, 2012

Weight:  115.6

Age:  30
Body Fat % (recalculated):  8.9%
Lean Body Mass:  105.3 lbs

Girth Measurements:
Shoulder: 98cm
Chest: 83cm
Upper Arm:  24.5m
Waist:  73m
Hip:  87cm
Thigh:  44cm
Calf:  30.5cm

It has been 5 months since I last had my body composition measured.  We revisited it on July 12th and I was very happy with the numbers!  I knew that changes were happening - based on how I looked in the mirror, clothes, and the way I felt...but sometimes it is nice to see some numbers.  

Some comments on them:

1)  I lost 3% of my body fat - but gained just over 6lbs of muscle!  AWESOME!

2)  I gained 1 inch around my biceps...YES!!!! (I LOVE jacked arms!)

3)  The numbers show an increase around my waist and hips - which could be contributed to some bloating...or my jacked up abs/glutes! LOL (my trainer didn't seem to think that was the case)  Time of day, hydration level, and what is in your gut can affect these numbers as well.  

4)  We also did some skin-fold caliper measurements...Here are some of those comparables:

• Feb. 12 Abdominal:  9mm     July 12 Abdominal:  5mm
• Feb. 12 Chest:  5.3mm         July 12 Chest:  2.5mm
• Feb. 12 Suprailliac:  4mm     July 12 Suprailliac:  2mm
• Feb. 12 Thigh:  10.5mm       July 12 Thigh:  6mm

5)  Given the means by which we measured the skin-folds and the calipers - there is room for even more accuracy if we used more precise calipers...so the 8.9% may seem low but in fact it is probably higher.  Many women cannot maintain a very low body fat percentage as it starts to effect things like their menstrual cycle.  I have not had any changes in that department so I am not concerned with how low that number appears to be.  

6)  Posture drastically improves with strength training...notice my arms hanging just a little straighter?

7)  You can definitely see where I used to store my "fat" - right around the middle.  This has everything to do with what I was eating.  Lots of sugary foods and carbs.  Cutting down on sugar and eating more raw foods and protein has significantly helped with that. I still hold some around there which is why my abs don't look like the washboard they are underneath it all...but I'm not overly concerned about this as my diet could have been a little cleaner too.

So in 5 months of strength training 4 days per week and eating (most of the time) very well - there has been some very positive changes that I am very happy with.  

But where to next? 

Gain 5 lbs of muscle!!!!! 

I hope to get stronger and more agile!  I need to improve my mobility and flexibility.  And with the continuation of my diet - I hope to see that gain in lean muscle mass!

Healthy Bite-Size Treats

I love easy, no bake, bite size treats...and this recipe has endless possibilities!  I cannot tell you exactly where I got the original recipe - as I found a few from some of my favorite sites and modified them to be my own.  I love how absolutely versatile this recipe can be!  

This is a single batch recipe - My suggestion would be to double (or triple) this batch because I promise you they wont last long! 

• 2/3 cup oats (you can use gluten free oats if cutting out gluten)
• 2 Tbsp Almond Butter (or any nut butter - peanut, cashew, etc)
• My favorites include:
• Natural PB (no sugar)
• Natural Almond Butter
• MaraNatha Chocolate PB - this just has more sugar and other additives
• If I want chocolate - I just add 1 or 2 Tbsp of cocoa or carob powder to the PB mix
• 1 Tbsp Honey (soft but not melted!)
• 1 Tbsp Coconut Flour 
• I really don't suggest using anything else here - coconut flour is a magical and other substitutions haven't worked out as well for me.  You can get this at a health food store like Nutters 
• 1 Tbsp Coconut Milk 
• The canned milk - dont be afraid to use full fat varieties! Found in most grocery stores.
• 1/2 cup dried blueberries (here is where you can get creative! see suggestions below
• I buy dried cherries, blueberries, and cranberries by bulk or from Costco.  
• I prefer ones that are unsweetened but don't always have them on hand
• Make sure you keep them in the freezer - chop them up using a blender - and trust me! they chop up better when they are cold/frozen
• Other Fillers
• 1/4-1/2 cup chopped seeds or nuts (see below) 
• I had some salted pumpkin seeds on hand - so I put them in the blender too! 
• Could use whatever here - but Id say you would want to chop them up in a blender
• 1/4 Cup Mini Choc Chips
• I really like Enjoy Life Mini Chips - found in health food stores 

Put everything you want in a bowl together, wash your hands, and start mixing - BY HAND!

Roll into bite size balls - get your kids to help!  My girls loved helping and actually enjoyed eating them after because they "made" them! (notice the chipmunk cheeks!?!) 


Freeze!  (Trust me! You don't want these sitting on your counter! Keep in the fridge or freezer!

My favorite Combos:

• PB with Cocoa, Cherries and Mini Choc Chips
• Almond Butter, Blueberries, Pumpkin Seeds

-----
Another GREAT version but without oats is this and again - play around with the variety of options you can create!:

• 3/4 cup almond flour
• 3 tbsp shredded coconut
• 2 tbsp almond butter
• 1 tbsp coconut flour
• 1 tbsp vanilla
• 1 tbsp honey
• 1 tbsp coconut milk
• 1/2 cup + mini choc chips

30 Years Old

The big 3-0!  Years 28-29 were spent dreading turning 30.  Not like I could change it or avoid it but just couldn't accept that I would at some point have to say "I'm 30".  There must be a certain sense of maturity or accomplishment when you are 30...just didn't feel I had found whatever it is that might be.  Doesn't make any sense does it?  Neither does dreading turning 30.

So here is to the next decade!  My early 20s were spent partying (geeze these years were fun!).  My mid 20s were a blur of moving, new jobs, and babies.  It wasn't until my late 20s that I think I finally figured myself out through the blur of all the life changes we went through!

I have made it my mission to make my 30s about finding balance within my life.  Time for me to pursue my interests, time for my kids, time for my family and friends, time for my husband and his pursuits, time to develop my business and time for myself.  That is a lot to balance...but I figure that is the best part about my 30s!  This will be a busy decade - with many ups and downs I know - but surely it cannot be as dreadful as my young self thought it would be.

What's different about being 30 is that you have the maturity to see that you need to live your life well and take care of yourself.  Time flies way too fast - and if there is anything I will be constantly pursuing for years to come - it will be my overall health and wellness.  My wellness first!   

http://www.definitionofwellness.com/

I enjoyed exploring this site because I found that considering my wellness to be a multi-dimensional helped me see the need to find balance between all aspects!

• Social Wellness
• Occupational Wellness
• Spiritual Wellness
• Physical Wellness
• Intellectual Wellness
• Emotional Wellness
• Environmental Wellness
• Financial Wellness
• Mental Wellness
• Medical Wellness

If there is any hope as I start my journey through the next decade is that I never stop pursuing and nurturing my wellness.  I am going to use this list of the dimensions of wellness to make some notes about things that I am a) already grateful for and b) changes / additions I'd like to pursue.  I owe it to myself and to my family, but what drives me the most is my children. To be there for them as they age, to be active in their lives, and to be a source of inspiration and education about their own wellness is an important job.  And although I may not get everything right, I will never give up.  

I'm 30!  And instead of dread - I feel excitement!  I feel younger than I have in a long time and I so very happy with all that I have in my life right now!  Who knows what each day will bring - but I feel more equipped to handle it and more stable than ever before!  

Rant: Do it right or go home!

So I have to rant...

There is a girl at my gym who I cannot help but compare myself to.  To start with - we are about the same size height and weight (she looks leaner than me but I swear my muscles are bigger!).   Secondly we both are there to workout, notebook in hand, using many of the same machines.

But that is where it ends.

I struggle with being disappointed in myself for not adding much weight (if ever) to my bars - especially with squats, deadlifts, and bench presses.  I have seen some improvement over the last few months, but I am either just comfortable at the weights I am lifting, truly a big sissy, or I'm just not pushing myself hard enough.

Anyway - as I was working hard through my Renegade Rows and Pull-Ups today (which by the way I can now do 4 unassisted pull-ups!) she comes in to set up her squat rack.  And as usual - she has an insane amount of weight on the bar...235lbs total to be exact for her first set (to which she drops down from after).

235lbs!!!! WTF!  That is almost 3 times her weight!  And I am not exaggerating!  No wonder I feel weak and unaccomplished with my 115-135lbs that I do.

As she slowly positions herself and comes off the rack...that 235lbs looks like it is going to crush her.  I am still not sure I should go far from the rack just in case she ends up smushed underneath the weight.  And as she steps out cautiously from the rack into the starting position for her squat, I find myself staring at her in awe and envy.  Damn - she must be strong!

Then she does a quarter-squat .  Slow and steady.  Cautious.  6 times.  It almost looked like a bob.

I go back to my rows.  What a joke.  The day I see her squat down all the way will be the day I go back to envying her strength.  Cuz even I know I could shoulder 235lbs and do nothing with it (well ok maybe not quite yet which makes me just a little impressed at her core strength at the very least).  I'd like to see her do 135lbs in a full squat - then Ill feel better comparing myself to her.

There are many squat videos - but here is one I found and referred to often.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40p1qQZTNRw

Same goes for her bench press - to which she had a monstrous 170lbs above her - again I imagined the bar falling on her throat and choking her to death.  She held it, threw her leg out to counter-balance herself -  then pumped her elbows a few times.  No full range of motion.  Now - I have to admit I was impressed she even held that kind of weight above her head and could even muster a bend in her elbow - absolutely no way I would even try.  SO Ill give her that at the very least.  But I'd truly like to see what she is capable of with her full range of motion....Ill continue to work on my technique and full ROM with my measly 60lbs above my head.

A barbell video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSGNxDeUSUE

What I learnt from all this...........Stop comparing yourself to others.  

Well ok  who are we kidding - I will never really not compare myself to her as long as she works out at the same hour as me...its a mixture of envy, awe, disbelief, and disappointment.  That being said - I will never EVER resort to her "technique" just so I can hold the same weight.  Might look good from across the room...but once executed it looks more like a joke.  In my opinion - do it right or go home.  Makes me wonder if it is some training strategy?  Maybe a misguided trainer?  Macho need to show up to the boys?   Who knows.  Best I just stop comparing myself to her and focus on my own workouts.

(PS - even most of the guys I watch at the gym dont put that much weight on - they all keep it lower but have envious form)

Im happy enough with how far I have come and how much I have improved my techniques.  And Im damn proud of my muscles - especially my arms (to which her's looks like toothpicks in comparison ;p) so I will continue on with my plan and at my own pace.  We will see how much another year can bring!

Some advice - YouTube!  Find videos that demonstrate PROPER technique - and trust me - you wouldn't find a video of hers as one.

Rant over.

6 Weeks to Spartan - Fear is setting in!

Just over 6 weeks to go before the Spartan Race in Calgary!  I keep seeing pictures on their Facebook Page...scares the shit out of me!

I'd be cowering on the ground...

The girl in me wants to stay home.  Have you seen those pictures?  The thought of getting beat to the ground in an arena with some jacked up (ass hole) Spartan with q-tip like beating sticks is about enough to convince me to just stay home.  I doubt that any one of them will take pity on a girl in the arena (it's probably the only time they can get away with hitting a girl so why not take advantage of it!)  

I can handle this...I crawl under my kids
beds all the time!

Nevermind the mud pits and ropes and monkey bars - those I can handle (or do the burpee penalties) but the adult fear of purposefully running straight through an arena where someone is purposefully trying to hit you is against all instinct!  My luck I'll be the one hit in the face like this poor guy...then I might have to cry.

Pretty sure the Spartan did that on purpose...

I think that this whole event is a way to go outside of my comfort zone and do something worth working hard towards.  My intentions are to go do something adventurous with old and new friends and to not die trying.  I also hope to gauge the potential for this event to be a future yearly experience or other events like it.  This year I want to have fun and complete it...maybe next year I will fight for a spot near the top? 

Didn't even consider practicing long jump again!

So 6 weeks to go - HOLY SHIT!  Of all the things a person should do to get ready for an event like this...mine will have to be to shut off that "girly mom" voice in my head screaming at me that this is not a good idea.    

Finish the race!

Man up already!  Work hard, eat well, sleep, and stop being such a sissy!  More than anything I'm looking forward to seeing an old friend and having uninhibited fun for a day!  Its all about the experience!  


And who knows...maybe my kids will do this someday too! (Well who are we kidding - Bailey won't but Morgan sure would!!!) 

Long Weekend Cheats - So worth it!

What a great long weekend!

Long weekend festivities are a true test of willpower!  Snacks at the beach, drinks with family and friends, family BBQ meals, birthday cake, and the list could go on.  I had no solid intentions going in to this weekend that I was going to avoid anything and everything that I normally cannot eat.  I decided that I would leave it up to the moment and what I was feeling like and I knew for sure that I was going to enjoy a beverage or two (or several).  So much for being 100% committed to my "diet"!

In regards to the "30-day" plan I am working on...well I cheated on it this weekend again.  I mean I knew exactly which rules I was breaking and consciously chose to do so.  But on a positive note - I saved up my "Cheat Day" for July 1st which helped me justify some of my choices - sure I probably should have had a sweet potato or rice as my extra carbs but instead I ate chips - oops.  All this just means 30-Days is not as easy as one thinks because you have to be committed to it regardless of what else is going on in your life...I don't think Im quite there yet.  Apparently I need more of a reason to do it other than just to "try" it.  I think when it comes to any change in diet or lifestyle - you have to have a reason to do it that is worth more than the instant (yet short lived) reward you get for cheating.

In regards to eating better over all - this weekend was a success in my opinion - and especially compared to other events I have struggled at.   I mean - when have I ever ate more veggies at the beach than treats!?!  I thoroughly enjoyed the BBQ'd ribs and roast beef - but skipped the wide array of salads, buns, and extras.  And I passed on the cake and ice cream and even limited the amount of fruit I was eating.  That all being said - wow! did I ever eat a lot (way too much) nuts, dried cherries, and pepperoni sticks - to which I attribute to habit or boredom - not hunger.  I justified my drinks because I mixed them with water or club soda (but probably 3oz instead of 1oz per drink lol) and I probably shouldn't have had that beer and Palm Bay.  Oh well.

So I savored every single handful of chips I ate (this was my biggest cheat) and enjoyed my beverages and I come home with no regrets!  Well...that was until about 930pm the night we got home....

930pm.  Home.  I was full beyond belief from the weekend and one last meal at the in-laws.  My stomach was bloated to the point I looked 4 months pregnant - and it hurt.  My "fat" was hurting...and for those of you who don't believe me - please do!  For years now, after drinking and eating poorly, my "fatty" areas (back/love handles, armpit/shoulders) feel like there are a million pins sticking into these areas.  Sensitive (if not bordering painful) to the touch, swollen, and uncomfortable.  It always shows up about 8-10 hours after a night of drinking (of any volume) and/or eating unhealthy food and lasts well into the next day.  It just sucks.  And it reminds me every time of why I should consider giving it all up for good....

I'm just not ready to and that is mostly because I haven't found that one reason to give it all up that is worth not eating and drinking things I enjoy on occasion.  What will it take?  Not sure.  Until then - MODERATION is key!  Was the "after pain" worth it?  This time around...yes.  And I enjoyed myself.  And I'm ok with all the choices I did make and I can blame no one but myself for them.

But in regards to the 30-Day plan....count that as another fail....so back to Day 1?  No.  Not this time.  Part of any diet is also getting over the mistakes and quickly getting back on track.  Day 15 was a cheat day (to which I didnt necessarily follow the rules to entirely) but I am back on plan now and a little more focused.  I started over once already but in many ways I shouldn't have even started before the end of this weekend.  I had a wedding, a stag, and this weekend - it was set up to fail from the beginning.  The 30 days is supposed to be a sort of re-programming for your body and cravings but it is also supposed to help re-establish different habits.  That it has helped with for sure.  But to be successful for 30 days one has to eliminate the triggers...what is in the pantry and events such as these should be included in my opinion.  So Ill finish this off, but I know for sure Ill do it again during a time where I can create more success.

Spartan is 52 days away.

Time to get stronger, faster, and more disciplined.