I went to a gym when I was out of town this week...and as usual there was not a single woman in the weight area. Sure there were a few older ladies on the ellipticals but they were not in there for long. To be honest - the only women who walked in to that facility were the ones who were headed for the tanning beds. Kind of pathetic.
Back at my home gym tonight, I took inventory of the people in the gym as I rolled myself out and waited for the squat rack to free up...same inventory of women that are normally there. And trust me when I say - only one of them was actually doing anything productive. A few other familiar faces come in, wander around, do a few bicep curls, crunch out a few ab moves on the floor, and wander off again.
It is quite sad actually.
I have to admit - it took me a while to feel as confident as I do now to OWN my place with the "big boy area". I consider myself a regular at the gym now and I know I am familiar to many of the guys there. I am not as big of a sissy any more and I don't care at all that I share the space with the men. And in watching the men of my gym I have come to the conclusion that they really are not that intimidating at all...nor do they frown upon having women in the area. Of the men that frequent the times that I go to the gym I have been treated with nothing but respect and courtesy. They are there to do their thing...sometimes they talk way too much for my liking and sometimes they grunt a little too unnecessarily but boys will be boys. In fact, most of them I have come to have a huge amount of respect for - in what they are lifting and how polite they are.
Ladies! Get in the gym! I don't mean the cardio classes, I don't mean on the treadmill or elliptical, I don't mean on the mats to do abs....I mean get in the gym and start lifting some weights!!! Use the machines! Pick up the dumbbells! Get on your knees and do some REAL pushups! Just get lifting!
Are you worried about getting bulky? (which I think is the most bogus, uneducated, pathetic excuse out there that women use!) I workout 4 times per week for about 90-120 minutes. I lift as hard as I can and push myself every set. At this point I do not do a minute of cardio during the week. And I'm pretty damn lean and would never ever consider myself to be bulky. In fact, of any of the women in my gym who are there to seriously workout and lift some weights - not one of them is "bulky"! Sorry - it just doesn't really work that way.
Tuffen up! I could just scream when I see some girl (who appears to be thin but with absolutely no muscle definition at all) pick up 5lb dumbbells and do a few bicep curls! WOW - that must really be hard for you! A bag of groceries weighs more than that or the basket of clothes you carry to the laundry every week. Get real women! Pick up a dumbbell that challenges you!!! Push yourself to break a sweat! COME ON! You can do better!!!!
Get real. Sure cardio will make you feel like you are working towards the weight loss I am sure you are trying to achieve...but when in life will you ever need to run 5-10km at a time out of necessity (besides the races you may be working towards)? Yet every single day you are faced with the need to carry weight and support yourself. Lifting groceries, doing laundry, carrying your kids, holding yourself upright 18 hours a day, mowing the lawn, etc etc etc. Lifting weights and doing plyometrics conditions your body for every day life. I used to be that girl who did 4 days of cardio every week (if not more)...and yes I got skinny....as a rail. There was nothing to me. And I thought I was strong...until I started working out at the gym....and it was all to clear that I was a weak, skinny-fat woman. Starting to lift weights and condition my muscles was the absolute best decision I have ever made and the results are far superior to the endless cardio I was doing.
Not sure where to start? Pick up a fitness magazine...every single one of them has a sample plan or monthly plan that can get you started. Browse the web for free plans...the sources are endless. Youtube is great for figuring out how to do something before you get there. Find a Facebook group (message me for the ones I would recommend) - there are several and the members of the groups are amazing sources of inspiration, motivation, and education. Ask a friend who already goes or be so bold and book yourself a trainer to help you get started. But seriously - just get started.
Ill never discourage you from taking group classes or doing some cardio. Any activity is better than no activity. But consider your goals and drop the misconceptions about weight lifting vs cardio. Find a balance between the two at the very least. Minimize your cardio down and start doing High Intensity Intervals instead of long sustained cardio. Run if you want (Ill admit I even miss the leisurely run!) but add in weights! Runners need muscles for speed! Find ways to do some metabolic conditioning and add active rests in to your weight sets to keep the heart rate up. Join a Crossfit gym or take a bootcamp class or join a gym with a "women only" area. The possibilities are endless but your life and all that you do in your life needs you to lift weights - so start exploring those possibilities!!!!
You could go with a friend. My advice - go with a guy friend. Women who go to the gym together talk way too much. Are you there to workout or socialize? If you go with a guy friend - he will work out along side you and keep you on track. And for as much as I may direct this post to women...I know for sure that there are just as many men that have the same challenges as we women do. If you go with a woman - have the plan ready ahead of time! And no! it is not silly to bring in a scribbler and pen to write it all down and keep on track! And for goodness sake - if you come in and wander around and half-ass it with your friend...then you picked the wrong friend. Did you come to workout and get healthy or did you come to wander around and show off your new Lulus?
Please just get over your fears and inhibitions about being in the gym! The men just don't care!!!! Expect that they will check you out (as if you are not checking them out!) - they are curious as to who you are and what you are made of! But they have attention spans that last the duration of a look...and then they are back to work or talking with their buddies. And you have every right to be there as any one else does!!!
It will be hard at first. You will feel uncomfortable and discouraged at times. You may look like you have no clue what you are doing (so do half the other people there who are doing freaky weird things and have terrible form). But I am going to fill you in on a little insider secret....Those of us already in the gym respect you and will gladly share the space with you. We may check you out and watch you at times, and you can expect that we are sizing you up a bit - but don't tell me you are not doing the same about anyone else in there! Don't know what to do or how to work a certain machine? Just ask and someone will gladly show you. And in the end - we all don't really care who you are or why you are there. We are all there to workout in whatever capacity we have planned for the day....which means you will fit right in.
So put your earphones in, lace up your shoes, grab your notebook and water bottle and get in the gym already! You won't regret it! Hope to see you there!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Back to the Start
Day 22 of 30. Im starting over. Back to Day 1.
Why? Because - I did not commit the way I should have nor the way I originally intended. I had nibbles, a fruit-binge day, and a wedding. Sure - I did much better than before I ever started all this...but I wasn't 100%. Fail.
Part of my fascination with diet changes and program changes is the ability to commit. It amazes me that I can have the best intentions...and still find a way to cheat. Or that regardless of the plan that I have basically told everyone I am following - I can consciously choose to go against it as if there will be no consequences. (PS - Feel free to call Bull Shit when you hear me talking about all this) I think this is more of a social experiment and a battle of willpower vs instant gratification.
So Im starting over. I cannot fully measure the success of the food changes that are included in this plan if in fact I had a few nibbles, a few drinks, the occasional lick of the honey spoon, the bite of my kids bagel, or a few pieces of dessert after the wedding. Each individual one adds up to a huge F A I L.
I learnt a lot in these 22 days.
I learnt that sugar is one of the hardest things to detox from. It is every where. Every commercial. Every magazine. Every aisle at the grocery store. Intentions or not - you are constantly faced with temptation.
I learnt that I really can do without grains. I actually want to completely cut them out as the plan intends and then re-introduce them in a specific and intentional meal (one at a time) to see what grains do to my body and how they actually make me feel.
I learnt that there is a difference between good sugars and bad sugars. Regardless - the plan was to cut it all out with the exception of a piece of fruit or two per day. To say I only had 1-2 pieces with no lick, nibble, or bite of something else would be a lie. So clearly I have not cut out sugar the way my plan challenged me to.
I learnt that this plan has the potential for great success. The changes that I have seen (even with the cheats) have been good. And more days than not I have felt better than I have for a long time.
I learnt that for the long term - my priorities are set. I feel like I have the tools, resources, the knowledge and the willpower to eat different than I have for years...and I feel like I have the self control to have a piece of cookie or a sweet treat occasionally and as I choose or just not at all. But that is not the entire purpose of the 30 days. The purpose is to do it with 100% compliance and then deal with the long term from there.
But I am also results driven. I seriously just want to see what the outcome will be if I am true to the plan. To cheat or to allow exceptions just because is failure from the start. As well I kind of feel like it is a complete disrespect to my trainer who has helped me put this together. As well, all those cheats ruin the validity of the results the plan could have achieved.
And more importantly - I have been fascinated with HOW food makes me feel. The last 22 days I had a superficial insight in to how cutting out sugar can make me feel...but every single cheat nibble, lick, or bite really just ruined the actual understanding of how being sugar free would make me feel. I really want to know how being sugar free, grain free, for 30 days actually feels.
So Im starting over. Nothing like being disappointed in yourself to give it a second try. I find the challenge fun. I marvel at the failures. I laugh at the pathetic excuses I can come up with. Im also sure this wont be the only time I re-start all this. (such confidence!)
So failed attempt #1 aside - I am super excited to retry but with knowledge of how and where I went wrong. I am also very empowered, because cheats aside, I was super proud of myself and the strength of my willpower and self control at recent family gatherings including the wedding. Anyone can do this....you just need to have more willpower and self control than the sugar bug on your shoulder. That being said - there are more family events to come and a camping trip....Im already very worried about the struggle this will be and Im not going to lie - Im sure Ill end up restarting again because of them. On the other hand - maybe not. I shouldn't have this much self-doubt and lack of confidence going in to it - so I am hoping that my scheduled cheat meals and cheat day (as per my plan) will fit strategically in to these events. And going in to them, I also have the power and knowledge I didn't have before which is the failure I am referring to in this post.
It is only 30 days...and apparently much harder than I originally thought. Yet at the same time the past 22 days flew by! So 22 days from now - I hope I have proven to myself that second attempts are worth the effort.
Round 2 started today. So far so good. It always is at first....
Why? Because - I did not commit the way I should have nor the way I originally intended. I had nibbles, a fruit-binge day, and a wedding. Sure - I did much better than before I ever started all this...but I wasn't 100%. Fail.
Part of my fascination with diet changes and program changes is the ability to commit. It amazes me that I can have the best intentions...and still find a way to cheat. Or that regardless of the plan that I have basically told everyone I am following - I can consciously choose to go against it as if there will be no consequences. (PS - Feel free to call Bull Shit when you hear me talking about all this) I think this is more of a social experiment and a battle of willpower vs instant gratification.
So Im starting over. I cannot fully measure the success of the food changes that are included in this plan if in fact I had a few nibbles, a few drinks, the occasional lick of the honey spoon, the bite of my kids bagel, or a few pieces of dessert after the wedding. Each individual one adds up to a huge F A I L.
I learnt a lot in these 22 days.
I learnt that sugar is one of the hardest things to detox from. It is every where. Every commercial. Every magazine. Every aisle at the grocery store. Intentions or not - you are constantly faced with temptation.
I learnt that I really can do without grains. I actually want to completely cut them out as the plan intends and then re-introduce them in a specific and intentional meal (one at a time) to see what grains do to my body and how they actually make me feel.
I learnt that there is a difference between good sugars and bad sugars. Regardless - the plan was to cut it all out with the exception of a piece of fruit or two per day. To say I only had 1-2 pieces with no lick, nibble, or bite of something else would be a lie. So clearly I have not cut out sugar the way my plan challenged me to.
I learnt that this plan has the potential for great success. The changes that I have seen (even with the cheats) have been good. And more days than not I have felt better than I have for a long time.
I learnt that for the long term - my priorities are set. I feel like I have the tools, resources, the knowledge and the willpower to eat different than I have for years...and I feel like I have the self control to have a piece of cookie or a sweet treat occasionally and as I choose or just not at all. But that is not the entire purpose of the 30 days. The purpose is to do it with 100% compliance and then deal with the long term from there.
But I am also results driven. I seriously just want to see what the outcome will be if I am true to the plan. To cheat or to allow exceptions just because is failure from the start. As well I kind of feel like it is a complete disrespect to my trainer who has helped me put this together. As well, all those cheats ruin the validity of the results the plan could have achieved.
And more importantly - I have been fascinated with HOW food makes me feel. The last 22 days I had a superficial insight in to how cutting out sugar can make me feel...but every single cheat nibble, lick, or bite really just ruined the actual understanding of how being sugar free would make me feel. I really want to know how being sugar free, grain free, for 30 days actually feels.
So Im starting over. Nothing like being disappointed in yourself to give it a second try. I find the challenge fun. I marvel at the failures. I laugh at the pathetic excuses I can come up with. Im also sure this wont be the only time I re-start all this. (such confidence!)
So failed attempt #1 aside - I am super excited to retry but with knowledge of how and where I went wrong. I am also very empowered, because cheats aside, I was super proud of myself and the strength of my willpower and self control at recent family gatherings including the wedding. Anyone can do this....you just need to have more willpower and self control than the sugar bug on your shoulder. That being said - there are more family events to come and a camping trip....Im already very worried about the struggle this will be and Im not going to lie - Im sure Ill end up restarting again because of them. On the other hand - maybe not. I shouldn't have this much self-doubt and lack of confidence going in to it - so I am hoping that my scheduled cheat meals and cheat day (as per my plan) will fit strategically in to these events. And going in to them, I also have the power and knowledge I didn't have before which is the failure I am referring to in this post.
It is only 30 days...and apparently much harder than I originally thought. Yet at the same time the past 22 days flew by! So 22 days from now - I hope I have proven to myself that second attempts are worth the effort.
Round 2 started today. So far so good. It always is at first....
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Surviving the Backyard BBQ
The season of backyard BBQs, patio drinks, and late night bonfires. Most festivities include an assortment of beverages, most including alcohol. And lets not forget chips, cookies, creamy dips for veggies, macaroni salads, and buns just to name a few. You know what your favorites are!
The BBQ season is not an easy season to get through if you are trying to change the way you eat. I am already salivating just writing all that above and reminiscing on the spread of food that has been set out before me to enjoy before. Regardless of my own personal diet changes and all the things that are on my "DO NOT EAT" list (all mentioned above) I cannot expect everyone to eat like me and to not put such things out.
It is all actually relatively easy - it just takes some planning.
1) Bring a dish. For me this is a salad. Unique and flavorful,something new to try, an experiment. I know what is in that dish and I know it is something I can eat - in abundance. You need something to fill up on so you don't reach for the things you are actually craving. If you are like me - I usually end up bringing more than just one dish - mostly because there are so many I want to try and finally have a crowd to experiment on!
2) Perrier and Frozen Fruit. Cut up some lemons and limes and freeze them on a tray. Put some berries in ice cube trays and top up with water - freeze. Once you have your ice cubes - add them to water, or if you want some bubbly - Perrier or Pres. Choice has a great brand that is unsweetened. (Avoid flavored water that is sweetened with sucrose). In a room of drinkers - this looks like a drink! Bubbly, classy (put it in a clear glass instead of Red Solo), and tasty.
3) Bring a snack you can munch on (I feel this is actually the most important thing I need to remember!). After supper there is always an assortment of chips. Dammit it anyway. One of my biggest weakness! And "healthy" chips do not really exist. SO what is a girl to do? Bring a bag (or even enough to share) of nuts, dried fruit, or even beef jerky. That late night need to crunch is overwhelming! So when I had to ask my friend for a handful of almonds last night - it dawned on me that I need to come a little more prepared (more than I thought I already was!). Nuts at least helps with the crunch! Or bring Kale - toast it up in the oven and have Kale chips. Jerky is always a good choice - but don't let them see it if you didnt bring enough to share!
4) Say NO to the bun! Period. Stack your meat as you would but without the bun. Use mustard and hot peppers and dijon. But NO BUN. For me this is partly because of my plan but there are also other reasons why I have stopped with the buns. Unneeded calories, wrong kind of calories that I want, dense, way too much in comparison to the meat, want to save room for other things, I usually end up picking off the excess and throwing out anyway, etc etc etc. Forget the bun. Enjoy the meat!
5) Change your attitude. I find that the more I change my attitude before going (and daily) the less struggle I have. I always fear family/friend events when I'm working towards changing things. Every event is predictably the same - with the same spread of food and drink.
The BBQ season is not an easy season to get through if you are trying to change the way you eat. I am already salivating just writing all that above and reminiscing on the spread of food that has been set out before me to enjoy before. Regardless of my own personal diet changes and all the things that are on my "DO NOT EAT" list (all mentioned above) I cannot expect everyone to eat like me and to not put such things out.
It is all actually relatively easy - it just takes some planning.
1) Bring a dish. For me this is a salad. Unique and flavorful,something new to try, an experiment. I know what is in that dish and I know it is something I can eat - in abundance. You need something to fill up on so you don't reach for the things you are actually craving. If you are like me - I usually end up bringing more than just one dish - mostly because there are so many I want to try and finally have a crowd to experiment on!
2) Perrier and Frozen Fruit. Cut up some lemons and limes and freeze them on a tray. Put some berries in ice cube trays and top up with water - freeze. Once you have your ice cubes - add them to water, or if you want some bubbly - Perrier or Pres. Choice has a great brand that is unsweetened. (Avoid flavored water that is sweetened with sucrose). In a room of drinkers - this looks like a drink! Bubbly, classy (put it in a clear glass instead of Red Solo), and tasty.
3) Bring a snack you can munch on (I feel this is actually the most important thing I need to remember!). After supper there is always an assortment of chips. Dammit it anyway. One of my biggest weakness! And "healthy" chips do not really exist. SO what is a girl to do? Bring a bag (or even enough to share) of nuts, dried fruit, or even beef jerky. That late night need to crunch is overwhelming! So when I had to ask my friend for a handful of almonds last night - it dawned on me that I need to come a little more prepared (more than I thought I already was!). Nuts at least helps with the crunch! Or bring Kale - toast it up in the oven and have Kale chips. Jerky is always a good choice - but don't let them see it if you didnt bring enough to share!
4) Say NO to the bun! Period. Stack your meat as you would but without the bun. Use mustard and hot peppers and dijon. But NO BUN. For me this is partly because of my plan but there are also other reasons why I have stopped with the buns. Unneeded calories, wrong kind of calories that I want, dense, way too much in comparison to the meat, want to save room for other things, I usually end up picking off the excess and throwing out anyway, etc etc etc. Forget the bun. Enjoy the meat!
5) Change your attitude. I find that the more I change my attitude before going (and daily) the less struggle I have. I always fear family/friend events when I'm working towards changing things. Every event is predictably the same - with the same spread of food and drink.
- Attitude change #1: What am I here for? The food/drink or the people?
- Attitude change #2: No one cares what I eat or drink - they may question it or make comments but in the end they just don't care. Why let myself fall apart for the sake of the food on the counter?
- Attitude change #3: Drinking is not mandatory - it's optional. Just because I always said yes to a drink before doesn't mean I have to now. Just accept that people will keep asking if you are pregnant or to explain why you are not drinking. I hate having to explain myself so a simple "not now thanks" or "maybe later" or "I'm driving" or whatever...Drinking is optional. And to be quite honest - I've come to realize I just don't need that drink. What I may be getting at is that I want to drink because I WANT to, whether on impulse or for a special event, but to just have a few may not be worth it.
- Attitude change #4: It is not worth it. You will never feel good about that piece of cake or bowl of chips so just don't eat it. The taste-bud, sugar high is not worth the disappointment you will have in yourself. So eat what you know makes you feel good and what is worth it to you. Those treats will always be there next time if you really want to have them.
Lastly - it comes down to the fact that I am trying to make a lifestyle change. And my lifestyle includes these types of events so it has to be known that changing the choices I make at these events is necessary too. Period. I can't feel good about my choices, talk about them, encourage others to start to live healthier themselves, and then fall apart at a backyard BBQ. Not only would I prove I'm full of shit but I feel whatever respect/curiosity people had for the changes I talk about is diminished. So it is really important to me that I learn to change my choices - outside and within all these types of events - to keep working towards my long term goals of a healthier lifestyle and to prove my commitment to myself.
And would you believe it? I had a great visit last night with my friends!
Friday, June 08, 2012
More than just volunteering
Last September I joined Saskatoon Search and Rescue - a volunteer non-profit organization committed to assisting Saskatoon EMO and other RCMP detachments in searching for missing persons. We are a young chapter having only formed in 2007 and our chapter size is quite small at this point in time. The volunteer work revolves around a lot of training and field exercises to prepare our members in the event of being activated for a real search or mission. Beyond the training, there are other things we assist the chapter with doing like community education and Preventative SAR (PSAR) as well as fundraising and projects to help our chapter grow and develop. There is a cost involved - both in time and money for your own gear and clothing. But there is so much more to being a part of this group than what you see on the brochure.
When I started, I had come in with a short history with another chapter from Alberta (Little Divide Search and Rescue), so I was some what familiar with what SSAR would be about. However, the areas that the two chapters cover are very different. Saskatoon is a much more urban environment whereas LDSAR was northern Alberta forests and parks. The Urban environment and challenges are very different from the wilderness ones and the missing person's cases can vary. We are also in an area where there is a heavy presence of RCMP and city police, so the need for a volunteer group to help in every single missing persons case is very low. Unknown to most people - we do not search for any person for any reason unless we are activated by the RCMP or EMO which means that for all the cases we are not activated there is a reason. Regardless, since I started I have been on two searches and I can only see our activations increasing as our presence and capabilities become more known.
Our group considers ourselves to be unpaid professionals. The amount of training, whether it be technical, theoretical, or experiential, exceeds many other chapters. Our members are enthusiastic individuals who have put in countless hours and effort to continually develop our level of professionalism and the chapter's presence within our community. Beyond that, many of us have become great friends.
The reason why I felt compelled to write about this group today was that I left our meeting last night feeling very grateful for this group of friends. I found an organization that I feel very connected to not only in what the purpose of the organization is, but in the group of people involved. I consider these individuals to be my friends. Although we most often see each other when it is SAR related, many of us share common interests and have found other ways to be together outside of the group. Each individual brings such a unique talent or personality to the group, and using outside opportunities to spend time together helps us all get to know each other a little better.
The same could be said of the board I am treasurer for with Park Heights Creative Preschool. I have met a great group of MOMs who I absolutely love to visit with. Although time is so very valuable - I know that as our children age and may find themselves in the same activities and school programs - we will keep in touch and have made a connection for life.
So the point of all this rambling is not to tell you about the groups I am involved with in great detail...but to share with you have they have enriched my life. Volunteering is a time consuming, energy sapping pursuit that can be the most rewarding, enriching thing you will ever do in your life. Finding the right group, the right purpose, and the right people makes all the effort and time spent worth it. My husband does not understand my need to be involved and to give so much of my time and energy, but I firmly believe it is because he has not found that one thing that he himself would be willing to give all that he could for. I am so very grateful for these groups, and the people involved in them. They provide a place to develop my skills and interests, to experience new things, to meet new people, and to give back to our community. Although there are many other groups I have an interest in, I am glad I have committed myself to the ones I have chosen.
And most importantly - I am grateful for my new friends and for that reason alone the time and energy spent volunteering is worth every penny.
R
Wednesday, June 06, 2012
To work full time or not?
What would it take to convince me to take a full time job? Honestly - a lot! I have never been shy to working and will always pursue "work" to keep me busy and my life enriched - but to go back to working a 8am-5pm Mon-Fri schedule would be suffocating. Like many moms (or dads) who have the luxury of being at home with their kids more, I have come to appreciate my days at home ((like today)) and the flexibility to come and go as I please.
When I am teaching - I'm dedicated and focused for two days. Then I am home or moving on to the next job. There really isn't a monotonous routine, I meet several great people every week, and I don't have to worry about someone seeing I have worn the same outfit this week twice! (Because believe me my husband wouldn't notice except that the laundry pile was slightly smaller!) I have had the great pleasure to work for several different companies now - representing their business and providing a great class for their clients. And I have made many more contacts across the province now since I started contracting myself out to training companies.
Don't get me wrong - we can't afford for me NOT to work. But we can afford for me to be home more. Less travel, less day care costs, less work-expense costs. This would not have been possible a few years ago, but with Jeremy's success with his job, we have found things have become a little easier. I also like to challenge ourselves to see if we can live comfortably with one income (plus whatever I can make) so that we can have the luxury of one of us home for the kids more and live a less "keeping up with the Jones' life.
Being home is not without it's challenges. And I definitely don't have the patience to be home everyday, all day. I love my kids - but I love my independence too! Plus I would have to figure out things to keep me busy here and the yard is just not an interest of mine. But being home every so often has allowed me to catch up on things and to have a little down time with the kids. I'm not super mom. I have it easy because my girls are very independent and play with themselves for hours. But it is still nice to be with them and pause my tasks to play or jump on the trampoline or make a batch of cookies. Every day is busy but that is the point.
I get a little freaked out that I am not where I thought I would be in life. No full time, management job. No pension. No RRSP plan. No benefits. But I have time. And flexibility to use it as I need. And I have more things that mean more to me that all those work-benefits - my gym time, my time in the kitchen, my cuddle time with the kids, time to visit a friend this afternoon, time to book dentist/doctor/massage/hair/volunteer appointments, time to go to the spray park, time to go for a walk to the post office and time to be whatever it is I need to be that day. So given all the things I am coming to realize are very important to me....I'd say I would be giving up a lot to go back to working full time.
Not that I would never consider it. But the further I go away from it, the less likely I think it will happen. I also often remind myself that the jobs that I had that were strict, full-time, demanding management jobs - my marriage, my health, and my attention to other things was by far at its worst. So - the right job, for the right person, the right atmosphere and purpose, and with the right freedoms may come around...but until then - I'll keep myself busy and I'll explore ways to build my business and reputation.
I don't know where this will all lead to - but for right now I guess I better accept that it is what I need and what my family needs. And although I have no fancy title behind my name - I still consider myself to be a "working mom".
Plus - who wants to start a full time job right before the summer ?????
When I am teaching - I'm dedicated and focused for two days. Then I am home or moving on to the next job. There really isn't a monotonous routine, I meet several great people every week, and I don't have to worry about someone seeing I have worn the same outfit this week twice! (Because believe me my husband wouldn't notice except that the laundry pile was slightly smaller!) I have had the great pleasure to work for several different companies now - representing their business and providing a great class for their clients. And I have made many more contacts across the province now since I started contracting myself out to training companies.
Don't get me wrong - we can't afford for me NOT to work. But we can afford for me to be home more. Less travel, less day care costs, less work-expense costs. This would not have been possible a few years ago, but with Jeremy's success with his job, we have found things have become a little easier. I also like to challenge ourselves to see if we can live comfortably with one income (plus whatever I can make) so that we can have the luxury of one of us home for the kids more and live a less "keeping up with the Jones' life.
Being home is not without it's challenges. And I definitely don't have the patience to be home everyday, all day. I love my kids - but I love my independence too! Plus I would have to figure out things to keep me busy here and the yard is just not an interest of mine. But being home every so often has allowed me to catch up on things and to have a little down time with the kids. I'm not super mom. I have it easy because my girls are very independent and play with themselves for hours. But it is still nice to be with them and pause my tasks to play or jump on the trampoline or make a batch of cookies. Every day is busy but that is the point.
I get a little freaked out that I am not where I thought I would be in life. No full time, management job. No pension. No RRSP plan. No benefits. But I have time. And flexibility to use it as I need. And I have more things that mean more to me that all those work-benefits - my gym time, my time in the kitchen, my cuddle time with the kids, time to visit a friend this afternoon, time to book dentist/doctor/massage/hair/volunteer appointments, time to go to the spray park, time to go for a walk to the post office and time to be whatever it is I need to be that day. So given all the things I am coming to realize are very important to me....I'd say I would be giving up a lot to go back to working full time.
Not that I would never consider it. But the further I go away from it, the less likely I think it will happen. I also often remind myself that the jobs that I had that were strict, full-time, demanding management jobs - my marriage, my health, and my attention to other things was by far at its worst. So - the right job, for the right person, the right atmosphere and purpose, and with the right freedoms may come around...but until then - I'll keep myself busy and I'll explore ways to build my business and reputation.
I don't know where this will all lead to - but for right now I guess I better accept that it is what I need and what my family needs. And although I have no fancy title behind my name - I still consider myself to be a "working mom".
Plus - who wants to start a full time job right before the summer ?????
Monday, June 04, 2012
Starting Week 2
1 week in and doing well. Except....
I had ketchup twice on my eggs and 2 vodka/soda drinks on Friday night. Shocker I know! BUT I will have you know that I did not have one - not one - chip or chocolate covered raisin at the girls night I was at - and all the bowls were within inches of my hand! It felt awesome! And to top it off, I was doing so well until the gracious host of the house I was staying at plunked a piece of garlic bread on my plate. So I ate it. Begrudgingly. But how else could I pass up yet another item of the meal she prepared for me and her family (note I said no to the rice and weird veggie dip)?
So how do I handle this - especially at other people's places? (not my family as I don't fear offending them if I pass on food) My trainer suggested that I use the 'excuse' that I am eliminating some things to see if there is a food intolerance. Which is essentially what I am trying to do but I just never thought of putting it this way to a host. It would be no different than passing up a glass of milk because it makes you sick. Gluten is a big source of irritation for some people and I am starting to see that certain things like bread to have a tendency to make me bloated too. I didn't feel too bloated after this piece but then again I walked away from the table hungry. They also had a roast chicken - to which I would normally eat half of it myself in one sitting - but only had 3 thin slices. Regardless it was a learning experience...eat my own food I pack and be honest even at the expense of shocking or offending the host.
As well, it has been a huge lifesaver for me to stop in at a grocery store while I am on the road instead of a convenience store. I tend to stick to my same habits at home in them, but the convenience stores have too many temptations that test my willpower.
So here is what I had to today to eat...My goal this week is to cut out sauces and dressings. I have found more and more lately that the flavors of the foods themselves are very tasty - without all the added dressings!
Breakfast - Egg Scramble with ham, veggies, and hot peppers
AM Snack - 2 pieces light Havarti cheese, handful of almonds, and a cup of blueberries
Lunch - Spinach Salad with veggies, 1/2 avocado, 1 hard boiled egg, and half a can of salmon
PM Snack - 1 pork chop (leftover) and raw veggies
Post Workout - Protein Shake and small apple
Supper - Homemade chili (without beans) and steamed broccoli
It was an easy week last week. I really don't anticipate this week to be any different. The weekend will be a whole other ball game. It is easy when you are working to stick to a normal routine, but to do so on a free weekend may be a whole different experience. The way I feel now is that I feel cleaner and less like Im on a rollercoaster with cravings and indulgences. I know it has only been a week - but it is definitely worth fighting on for!
R
I had ketchup twice on my eggs and 2 vodka/soda drinks on Friday night. Shocker I know! BUT I will have you know that I did not have one - not one - chip or chocolate covered raisin at the girls night I was at - and all the bowls were within inches of my hand! It felt awesome! And to top it off, I was doing so well until the gracious host of the house I was staying at plunked a piece of garlic bread on my plate. So I ate it. Begrudgingly. But how else could I pass up yet another item of the meal she prepared for me and her family (note I said no to the rice and weird veggie dip)?
So how do I handle this - especially at other people's places? (not my family as I don't fear offending them if I pass on food) My trainer suggested that I use the 'excuse' that I am eliminating some things to see if there is a food intolerance. Which is essentially what I am trying to do but I just never thought of putting it this way to a host. It would be no different than passing up a glass of milk because it makes you sick. Gluten is a big source of irritation for some people and I am starting to see that certain things like bread to have a tendency to make me bloated too. I didn't feel too bloated after this piece but then again I walked away from the table hungry. They also had a roast chicken - to which I would normally eat half of it myself in one sitting - but only had 3 thin slices. Regardless it was a learning experience...eat my own food I pack and be honest even at the expense of shocking or offending the host.
As well, it has been a huge lifesaver for me to stop in at a grocery store while I am on the road instead of a convenience store. I tend to stick to my same habits at home in them, but the convenience stores have too many temptations that test my willpower.
So here is what I had to today to eat...My goal this week is to cut out sauces and dressings. I have found more and more lately that the flavors of the foods themselves are very tasty - without all the added dressings!
Breakfast - Egg Scramble with ham, veggies, and hot peppers
AM Snack - 2 pieces light Havarti cheese, handful of almonds, and a cup of blueberries
Lunch - Spinach Salad with veggies, 1/2 avocado, 1 hard boiled egg, and half a can of salmon
PM Snack - 1 pork chop (leftover) and raw veggies
Post Workout - Protein Shake and small apple
Supper - Homemade chili (without beans) and steamed broccoli
It was an easy week last week. I really don't anticipate this week to be any different. The weekend will be a whole other ball game. It is easy when you are working to stick to a normal routine, but to do so on a free weekend may be a whole different experience. The way I feel now is that I feel cleaner and less like Im on a rollercoaster with cravings and indulgences. I know it has only been a week - but it is definitely worth fighting on for!
R
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