Always order one size bigger!
Just what I needed today...With the dress, the shoes, and the bra in hand - I went to a seamstress to get my dress hemmed for my brother and soon-to-be sister-inlaw's wedding.
After saying "to hell" with the bra - we finally got it done up! Barely.
This is the problem with ordering dresses. You order a size for you at the time and that size is just within a range. One size up would have meant a crazy amount of alterations. So order what the chart says fits right now. And cross your fingers that it will be just right. 5 more millimeters and I think it would be...
I would be off my rocker if I said - "Uh Oh - I better lose some weight!". I really cannot see where and if any I have to spare around my chest/rib cage. (and if you ask my husband he will tell you there is nothing left to lose in the boob area!) And do I really want to? NO. I have worked really hard to build up some muscle which is what I am telling myself is the issue here. Is it? I don't really know. I am stronger that is for sure. Couple that with a dress that was ordered to fit me in January...well here we are.
I had a mini melt-down - and now I will be faced with the gut-wrenching fear that I wont be comfortable all day trying to breath in a dress that has no forgiveness. Hell - even worse I wont get the thing done up! So I am going to go back...talk to her (she is very talented!) about gaining that extra 5mm in room within the dress (testing her talent!).
In the meantime - I WILL NOT give up on my strength training for a dress. I might ease up come end of May and do a little more cardio within a few weeks of the wedding but I will not stop working out all together. This is why I want the extra 5mm instead of easing up on my strength training (Spartan is just 2 short months after the wedding and I will be damned if Im not ready for it!) To resort to crazy, absolutely senseless, attempts (water pills, extreme dieting, and insane cardio to name a few) to shed a few millimeters of flesh and hard-earned muscle is the last thing I will do. I feel like I am still in my "bulking" phase where I am trying to gain weight and muscle. To lean out sensibly for the purpose of this wedding will be an ok thing to do...but smart and with a safe approach.
There is time. No need to panic yet...I find it easier to chuckle about the irony actually. We were spent a lot of time considering the right sized dress for our other sister who may or may not have her child by then and will need last minute alterations....maybe I should have thought a little harder about my own body changes in the months to come.
So - the excitement of getting the dress and fitting it was ruined. But on the positive side - not only can I tell my back and chest is stronger - apparently I have gained a little too which was somewhat of a goal of mine. I posted my before pictures in February - with measurements - so I will work on getting a new set done soon so I can actually see what changes have occurred besides just the fact that my dress is a little snug!
LOL! What it comes down to is every woman's fear that the dress won't fit! Gut-wrenching fear.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
SPARTAN
When I am out of town (alone), I like to go check out the local gym. I also usually save my hardest workout for that day so I have lots to do and don't look like a pansy in there either. I also go because I am bored while staying in a hotel by myself and use this free time to do something other than sit in my room. I find that the past months in my own home gym has given me the confidence to go into any gym, alone, and kill my workout with complete confidence. This is a huge thing because before all of this I can assure you I would have never went to any such facility alone.
Recently when I was at a local gym in Swift Current (by the way it was a BEAUTIFUL gym!) I was one of 5 people in there. Mid-workout a guy asked me what I was "training for"...I was caught completely off guard! I didn't really have an answer....so I spit out "for the Spartan race".
3 weeks later I finally did! Check it out!
Recently when I was at a local gym in Swift Current (by the way it was a BEAUTIFUL gym!) I was one of 5 people in there. Mid-workout a guy asked me what I was "training for"...I was caught completely off guard! I didn't really have an answer....so I spit out "for the Spartan race".
WHAT! I actually said that?!?! Ok - I might have been talking about it for months, trying to get people to join up with me, but I wasn't actually registered! But what else was I supposed to say to a complete stranger?
- The truth: "Oh because I am turning 30 and am having a mini meltdown about it so I thought I would workout really hard so it doesn't feel or look like I am 30..."
- The other truth: "I am training for a tight ass cuz mine has and always has been flat"
- The open-ended answer I keep reading in magazines: "I'm training for the sake of my health"
I think my answer was much better than these alternatives. Thing was - I wasn't even registered for the race! So we spent the next few sets talking about it and him praising me for my efforts (who was I to tell him to stop?) Leaving the gym that night I swore I would finally put my money where my mouth is and register...
3 weeks later I finally did! Check it out!
And a few other friends have jumped on board too! We have a little Facebook group going with some Work Out of the Days (WODs) posted and are getting to know each other before we are faced with a guy holding a spear standing between us and a barbwire enclosed mud pit that we have to crawl through! Scary shit I tell you!
Anyway - it's official! I'm training for Spartan!
It's good to finally have purpose other than my vanity.
Monday, April 09, 2012
Blame it on the Easter Bunny...
I am so full of shit sometimes!
No really (I know many of you have tried to point this out to me before...).
Below is a "draft" of a post that I wanted to post on Thursday before Easter weekend. It never got posted nor have I edited it for the purpose of this post. And I never followed with very much of what I said. To my credit - I did bring a dessert (low fat cheesecake) and I did make Sunday brunch with foods I normally would eat. And looking back on the weekend - it was not the MEALS that I was overindulging in...it was the evil temptation of candies and chocolates that did me in. I actually did quite well with meals and snacks (which I also brought for myself). It was the sheer volume of candies, chocolates, and chips I ate Saturday and Sunday that was painful.
(Note: It has dawned on me that I am guilty for my own demise because I bought most of the loot on behalf of the stupid Easter Bunny - which apparently I will not be doing next year!)
Sunday night I was feeling the lowest I have felt about myself in a long time. Disappointed in myself. Disgusted by my chocolate binge. And sick - literally.
But what is done is done. So after hitting rock bottom and feeling almost hungover from the drastic change in eating I willingly forced upon myself I decided the only way to deal with it was to a) recognize my choices and b) get over it. So Monday morning, I packed my lunch as usual and restocked my gym bag for my afternoon workout. And as I am writing this post - my guts feel much better and I feel empowered by the psychoanalysis I have done on myself.
I binge because I can. Or so I justify it in my mind. Temptation is right in front of me and given my active lifestyle and size - it is quite easy to justify treats. I also don't have much of an off-switch once I get started. Its like my body is craving a drug (sugar) and I have no concept of being full when consuming it. This is perhaps a result of limiting it within my daily diet - but honestly I don't have sugar cravings any more. Binges don't happen because I seek them out - they happen because I took one bite. Apparently I need to learn some self control.
I have always been comfortable with enjoying a cheat-meal and have never refused a night out or convenience meal because of my daily routine. I often times (guilt free!) enjoy a glass(es) of wine with a friend or a plate of wings at a post meeting gathering (with a beer!) or a cookie after a meal. But there is a clear difference between a treat, that was worth it and actually made me feel good, and a full on binge that starts with that simple treat and explodes into a series of over indulgent bad choices that leave me feeling disappointed and disgusted and SICK.
I am hopeful that I can do better on Easter Round 2 at my parents this upcoming weekend. There will be the same temptations and similar spread of meals - and all the same results if I do it all again. Reading my post below - I think I have good sensible ideas to help myself get through the weekend, I just need to listen to my own advice! Now I better get my recipes together and a shopping list so I can show up prepared!
Ill keep you posted on how it goes...not gonna lie - I'm not very confident in myself. This is my greatest weakness.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Easter holiday weekend. Not unlike every other holiday weekend with family. Food, treats, candies, and drinks. And lots of it.
Ugghhh.
I won't deny that my mouth is watering as I browse recipes or see the millions of bags of chocolate at any store right now...but my gut is screaming at me too.
Why is it that we can do so well until a holiday? And why is it that people justify binges on the holidays? As an experiment - I am going to journal the "spread" of food at each meal (and throughout the day) for the duration of this holiday weekend and what I do actually eat.
I try so hard every day to eat sensibly and conscientiously and I just know my weakness is to pick and graze and binge when there is so much food in front of me. I, like many others, always feel sick to my stomach every single time and even worse I hate myself for it. Part of my personal goals is to over come this and learn to have a little more self-control.
Part of my plan to achieve this is to do the following:
- Bring a healthier snack that I would incorporate into my own day - and LIMIT my consumption of it.
- Bring a dessert that is clean and protein rich - something I would incorporate into my own day and LIMIT my consumption of it.
- Allow myself a handful of whatever candies are on the table - the quickly put a stick of gum in my mouth!
- Offer to bake a few other dishes if needed for the family meals.
- Bring some of my staples for the small meals throughout the day.
- Drink lots of water. (This WILL be very hard for me!)
- Journal what I eat (and don't eat)
Most importantly I am going to constantly remind myself of a few things:
- I do not have to EAT everything on the table or sample all the treats in order to have a great holiday with my family.
- Not eating or sampling everything does not mean I do not appreciate my family or the effort they went through to make their dishes or to provide ample selection.
- I have a goal and established way of eating that makes me feel good - over eating and eating the wrong things WILL make me feel sick.
- I do not have to justify my choices to anyone. How I eat and what I eat is my choice. For my health, for my lifestyle, for me.
No really (I know many of you have tried to point this out to me before...).
Below is a "draft" of a post that I wanted to post on Thursday before Easter weekend. It never got posted nor have I edited it for the purpose of this post. And I never followed with very much of what I said. To my credit - I did bring a dessert (low fat cheesecake) and I did make Sunday brunch with foods I normally would eat. And looking back on the weekend - it was not the MEALS that I was overindulging in...it was the evil temptation of candies and chocolates that did me in. I actually did quite well with meals and snacks (which I also brought for myself). It was the sheer volume of candies, chocolates, and chips I ate Saturday and Sunday that was painful.
(Note: It has dawned on me that I am guilty for my own demise because I bought most of the loot on behalf of the stupid Easter Bunny - which apparently I will not be doing next year!)
Sunday night I was feeling the lowest I have felt about myself in a long time. Disappointed in myself. Disgusted by my chocolate binge. And sick - literally.
But what is done is done. So after hitting rock bottom and feeling almost hungover from the drastic change in eating I willingly forced upon myself I decided the only way to deal with it was to a) recognize my choices and b) get over it. So Monday morning, I packed my lunch as usual and restocked my gym bag for my afternoon workout. And as I am writing this post - my guts feel much better and I feel empowered by the psychoanalysis I have done on myself.
I binge because I can. Or so I justify it in my mind. Temptation is right in front of me and given my active lifestyle and size - it is quite easy to justify treats. I also don't have much of an off-switch once I get started. Its like my body is craving a drug (sugar) and I have no concept of being full when consuming it. This is perhaps a result of limiting it within my daily diet - but honestly I don't have sugar cravings any more. Binges don't happen because I seek them out - they happen because I took one bite. Apparently I need to learn some self control.
I have always been comfortable with enjoying a cheat-meal and have never refused a night out or convenience meal because of my daily routine. I often times (guilt free!) enjoy a glass(es) of wine with a friend or a plate of wings at a post meeting gathering (with a beer!) or a cookie after a meal. But there is a clear difference between a treat, that was worth it and actually made me feel good, and a full on binge that starts with that simple treat and explodes into a series of over indulgent bad choices that leave me feeling disappointed and disgusted and SICK.
I am hopeful that I can do better on Easter Round 2 at my parents this upcoming weekend. There will be the same temptations and similar spread of meals - and all the same results if I do it all again. Reading my post below - I think I have good sensible ideas to help myself get through the weekend, I just need to listen to my own advice! Now I better get my recipes together and a shopping list so I can show up prepared!
Ill keep you posted on how it goes...not gonna lie - I'm not very confident in myself. This is my greatest weakness.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Easter holiday weekend. Not unlike every other holiday weekend with family. Food, treats, candies, and drinks. And lots of it.
Ugghhh.
I won't deny that my mouth is watering as I browse recipes or see the millions of bags of chocolate at any store right now...but my gut is screaming at me too.
Why is it that we can do so well until a holiday? And why is it that people justify binges on the holidays? As an experiment - I am going to journal the "spread" of food at each meal (and throughout the day) for the duration of this holiday weekend and what I do actually eat.
I try so hard every day to eat sensibly and conscientiously and I just know my weakness is to pick and graze and binge when there is so much food in front of me. I, like many others, always feel sick to my stomach every single time and even worse I hate myself for it. Part of my personal goals is to over come this and learn to have a little more self-control.
Part of my plan to achieve this is to do the following:
- Bring a healthier snack that I would incorporate into my own day - and LIMIT my consumption of it.
- Bring a dessert that is clean and protein rich - something I would incorporate into my own day and LIMIT my consumption of it.
- Allow myself a handful of whatever candies are on the table - the quickly put a stick of gum in my mouth!
- Offer to bake a few other dishes if needed for the family meals.
- Bring some of my staples for the small meals throughout the day.
- Drink lots of water. (This WILL be very hard for me!)
- Journal what I eat (and don't eat)
Most importantly I am going to constantly remind myself of a few things:
- I do not have to EAT everything on the table or sample all the treats in order to have a great holiday with my family.
- Not eating or sampling everything does not mean I do not appreciate my family or the effort they went through to make their dishes or to provide ample selection.
- I have a goal and established way of eating that makes me feel good - over eating and eating the wrong things WILL make me feel sick.
- I do not have to justify my choices to anyone. How I eat and what I eat is my choice. For my health, for my lifestyle, for me.
Sunday, April 01, 2012
Damn you Girl Guide cookies!
Girl Guide Cookies.
$5 per box of sweet vanilla and chocolate cookies.
One doorbell chime and emptying out a handful of change leaves 2 weeks of conscientious eating hanging by a noose.
3 days home with sick kids and a drastic change in weekend plans shreds all last hopes of sticking with my plan.
A fridge full of prepped food and drawer full of fruity sugar free gum couldn't compete with that one box of Girl Guide cookies.
And they are gone.
Enjoyed absolutely every single one I was able to grab for myself (competing with 3 others) and selfishly denied my children more than 1 at a time while pocketing 3 for myself. Finger wagging shame.
And I don't even regret it. Kinda feel ashamed that I let a box of cookies ruin a winning streak...but now that they are gone I can focus again. Phew! I subconsciously helped myself out by getting them out of the cupboard didn't I?
If there is one thing I have learnt is that we need to have simple indulgences. A licorice here. An oreo there. A Cadbury Thin now. A bag of chips tomorrow. Because if you don't....you will eat a whole box of delicious Girl Guide cookies without batting an eye.
Changing your diet to be more health conscious is an entire lifestyle change. I find it quite exciting to find and try recipes that help me combat cravings with similar tastes and textures but in a cleaner, healthier way. I am proud of the fact that I bake more and buy less treats. But to deny yourself the inevitable delightful craving now and then will only lead to disaster.
Understand your cravings. Learn what triggers them. Even accept them. Know how to get over them. And most importantly don't buy more than one box of Girl Guide cookies!!!! (donate the cash and save yourself from inevitable diet destruction!)
$5 per box of sweet vanilla and chocolate cookies.
One doorbell chime and emptying out a handful of change leaves 2 weeks of conscientious eating hanging by a noose.
3 days home with sick kids and a drastic change in weekend plans shreds all last hopes of sticking with my plan.
A fridge full of prepped food and drawer full of fruity sugar free gum couldn't compete with that one box of Girl Guide cookies.
And they are gone.
Enjoyed absolutely every single one I was able to grab for myself (competing with 3 others) and selfishly denied my children more than 1 at a time while pocketing 3 for myself. Finger wagging shame.
And I don't even regret it. Kinda feel ashamed that I let a box of cookies ruin a winning streak...but now that they are gone I can focus again. Phew! I subconsciously helped myself out by getting them out of the cupboard didn't I?
If there is one thing I have learnt is that we need to have simple indulgences. A licorice here. An oreo there. A Cadbury Thin now. A bag of chips tomorrow. Because if you don't....you will eat a whole box of delicious Girl Guide cookies without batting an eye.
Changing your diet to be more health conscious is an entire lifestyle change. I find it quite exciting to find and try recipes that help me combat cravings with similar tastes and textures but in a cleaner, healthier way. I am proud of the fact that I bake more and buy less treats. But to deny yourself the inevitable delightful craving now and then will only lead to disaster.
Understand your cravings. Learn what triggers them. Even accept them. Know how to get over them. And most importantly don't buy more than one box of Girl Guide cookies!!!! (donate the cash and save yourself from inevitable diet destruction!)
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