The Rusty Treadmill's Spark

So I decided it's about time to get back in to my old routine of working out after 2+ months of excuses and plain old laziness...

At first I felt great!  I ran for 20 minutes on my treadmill at my comfort zone of 7.0mph - and at about the 10 minute mark my mind started shouting out every excuse in the book as to why I should quit.  Being that I never turn down a good argument - I kept at it until 20 minutes were up and decided that I really shouldn't over do it on my first day back.

This was a sneaky way of saying that 20 minutes was physically taxing and it was not mentally worth the fight to push harder for any longer.  Shame on me.  3 months ago I was running 10km in the 52minute range...and 20minutes now was a struggle.  Shame. On. Me.

So after that I decided I had planned to do some chest / back exercises on my Rip:60.  I did.  Half-assed.  Lame.  Finger wagging shame!

So here is what I have learnt:
-  Time off is needed for the body and mind - but "time off" for me needs to be a change in routine or intensity...not going cold-turkey for 2+ months.  The set back is honestly shameful for me - BUT I am going to use this as motivational fuel!
-  I need a plan.  Period.  A plan that goes beyond something I slapped together today to try tonight.  I need a  PLAN!  A daily, weekly, monthly plan that incorporates short term and long term strategies.  I need to know that one phase will lead to another.  And this plan needs to include the whole picture - exercise, nutrition, goals, lifestyle, priorities...not just exercise. More on this soon.

After I came upstairs to help finish making supper - I left the shame I was feeling in front of my rusty treadmill at the basement doorway.  Screw it.  What am I ashamed for?  I got lazy.  It is no one else's fault but my own and only I can change it.  So I will.   With a plan.

I decided that my plan will start if I do 5 things (and probably 20 more I haven't got to yet):
1)  Stop making excuses.  No - I am not that busy.  Yes - I can get up earlier.  No - You can't eat whatever you want.  No - it is not because of the holidays and PS they are OVER!
2)  Stop letting others influence my poor choices. The thing I hate hearing the most (because it fuels the excuses already floating around in my head) is that I don't need to workout or watch what I eat because of my body size right now.  It has nothing to do with that!!!!!  But yet hearing that justifies my lame excuses.
3)  Define my goals and get a plan together.  I'm working on this and I promise to share as it develops.
4)  Be transparent.  I have insecurities too.  I also don't hate my body but I don't feel comfortable showing it off.  So before and after pictures will be posted soon.
5)  Be honest and critical of myself - but always try to turn such criticism into something to be used to help me on this new endeavor.

So back to the shame.  I'm now convinced this is more embarrassment and disappointment in myself.  Whatever it is - it wont last long.  Nothing like a pathetic run on a rusty treadmill to put a "spark in my ass".


Fun Fact:  Urban Dictionary's phrase on January 12:  "Spark in my ass" - A sudden burst of positive energy; determined; a feeling of invincibility.  

~ Rebecca ~