Always order one size bigger!
Just what I needed today...With the dress, the shoes, and the bra in hand - I went to a seamstress to get my dress hemmed for my brother and soon-to-be sister-inlaw's wedding.
After saying "to hell" with the bra - we finally got it done up! Barely.
This is the problem with ordering dresses. You order a size for you at the time and that size is just within a range. One size up would have meant a crazy amount of alterations. So order what the chart says fits right now. And cross your fingers that it will be just right. 5 more millimeters and I think it would be...
I would be off my rocker if I said - "Uh Oh - I better lose some weight!". I really cannot see where and if any I have to spare around my chest/rib cage. (and if you ask my husband he will tell you there is nothing left to lose in the boob area!) And do I really want to? NO. I have worked really hard to build up some muscle which is what I am telling myself is the issue here. Is it? I don't really know. I am stronger that is for sure. Couple that with a dress that was ordered to fit me in January...well here we are.
I had a mini melt-down - and now I will be faced with the gut-wrenching fear that I wont be comfortable all day trying to breath in a dress that has no forgiveness. Hell - even worse I wont get the thing done up! So I am going to go back...talk to her (she is very talented!) about gaining that extra 5mm in room within the dress (testing her talent!).
In the meantime - I WILL NOT give up on my strength training for a dress. I might ease up come end of May and do a little more cardio within a few weeks of the wedding but I will not stop working out all together. This is why I want the extra 5mm instead of easing up on my strength training (Spartan is just 2 short months after the wedding and I will be damned if Im not ready for it!) To resort to crazy, absolutely senseless, attempts (water pills, extreme dieting, and insane cardio to name a few) to shed a few millimeters of flesh and hard-earned muscle is the last thing I will do. I feel like I am still in my "bulking" phase where I am trying to gain weight and muscle. To lean out sensibly for the purpose of this wedding will be an ok thing to do...but smart and with a safe approach.
There is time. No need to panic yet...I find it easier to chuckle about the irony actually. We were spent a lot of time considering the right sized dress for our other sister who may or may not have her child by then and will need last minute alterations....maybe I should have thought a little harder about my own body changes in the months to come.
So - the excitement of getting the dress and fitting it was ruined. But on the positive side - not only can I tell my back and chest is stronger - apparently I have gained a little too which was somewhat of a goal of mine. I posted my before pictures in February - with measurements - so I will work on getting a new set done soon so I can actually see what changes have occurred besides just the fact that my dress is a little snug!
LOL! What it comes down to is every woman's fear that the dress won't fit! Gut-wrenching fear.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
SPARTAN
When I am out of town (alone), I like to go check out the local gym. I also usually save my hardest workout for that day so I have lots to do and don't look like a pansy in there either. I also go because I am bored while staying in a hotel by myself and use this free time to do something other than sit in my room. I find that the past months in my own home gym has given me the confidence to go into any gym, alone, and kill my workout with complete confidence. This is a huge thing because before all of this I can assure you I would have never went to any such facility alone.
Recently when I was at a local gym in Swift Current (by the way it was a BEAUTIFUL gym!) I was one of 5 people in there. Mid-workout a guy asked me what I was "training for"...I was caught completely off guard! I didn't really have an answer....so I spit out "for the Spartan race".
3 weeks later I finally did! Check it out!
Recently when I was at a local gym in Swift Current (by the way it was a BEAUTIFUL gym!) I was one of 5 people in there. Mid-workout a guy asked me what I was "training for"...I was caught completely off guard! I didn't really have an answer....so I spit out "for the Spartan race".
WHAT! I actually said that?!?! Ok - I might have been talking about it for months, trying to get people to join up with me, but I wasn't actually registered! But what else was I supposed to say to a complete stranger?
- The truth: "Oh because I am turning 30 and am having a mini meltdown about it so I thought I would workout really hard so it doesn't feel or look like I am 30..."
- The other truth: "I am training for a tight ass cuz mine has and always has been flat"
- The open-ended answer I keep reading in magazines: "I'm training for the sake of my health"
I think my answer was much better than these alternatives. Thing was - I wasn't even registered for the race! So we spent the next few sets talking about it and him praising me for my efforts (who was I to tell him to stop?) Leaving the gym that night I swore I would finally put my money where my mouth is and register...
3 weeks later I finally did! Check it out!
And a few other friends have jumped on board too! We have a little Facebook group going with some Work Out of the Days (WODs) posted and are getting to know each other before we are faced with a guy holding a spear standing between us and a barbwire enclosed mud pit that we have to crawl through! Scary shit I tell you!
Anyway - it's official! I'm training for Spartan!
It's good to finally have purpose other than my vanity.
Monday, April 09, 2012
Blame it on the Easter Bunny...
I am so full of shit sometimes!
No really (I know many of you have tried to point this out to me before...).
Below is a "draft" of a post that I wanted to post on Thursday before Easter weekend. It never got posted nor have I edited it for the purpose of this post. And I never followed with very much of what I said. To my credit - I did bring a dessert (low fat cheesecake) and I did make Sunday brunch with foods I normally would eat. And looking back on the weekend - it was not the MEALS that I was overindulging in...it was the evil temptation of candies and chocolates that did me in. I actually did quite well with meals and snacks (which I also brought for myself). It was the sheer volume of candies, chocolates, and chips I ate Saturday and Sunday that was painful.
(Note: It has dawned on me that I am guilty for my own demise because I bought most of the loot on behalf of the stupid Easter Bunny - which apparently I will not be doing next year!)
Sunday night I was feeling the lowest I have felt about myself in a long time. Disappointed in myself. Disgusted by my chocolate binge. And sick - literally.
But what is done is done. So after hitting rock bottom and feeling almost hungover from the drastic change in eating I willingly forced upon myself I decided the only way to deal with it was to a) recognize my choices and b) get over it. So Monday morning, I packed my lunch as usual and restocked my gym bag for my afternoon workout. And as I am writing this post - my guts feel much better and I feel empowered by the psychoanalysis I have done on myself.
I binge because I can. Or so I justify it in my mind. Temptation is right in front of me and given my active lifestyle and size - it is quite easy to justify treats. I also don't have much of an off-switch once I get started. Its like my body is craving a drug (sugar) and I have no concept of being full when consuming it. This is perhaps a result of limiting it within my daily diet - but honestly I don't have sugar cravings any more. Binges don't happen because I seek them out - they happen because I took one bite. Apparently I need to learn some self control.
I have always been comfortable with enjoying a cheat-meal and have never refused a night out or convenience meal because of my daily routine. I often times (guilt free!) enjoy a glass(es) of wine with a friend or a plate of wings at a post meeting gathering (with a beer!) or a cookie after a meal. But there is a clear difference between a treat, that was worth it and actually made me feel good, and a full on binge that starts with that simple treat and explodes into a series of over indulgent bad choices that leave me feeling disappointed and disgusted and SICK.
I am hopeful that I can do better on Easter Round 2 at my parents this upcoming weekend. There will be the same temptations and similar spread of meals - and all the same results if I do it all again. Reading my post below - I think I have good sensible ideas to help myself get through the weekend, I just need to listen to my own advice! Now I better get my recipes together and a shopping list so I can show up prepared!
Ill keep you posted on how it goes...not gonna lie - I'm not very confident in myself. This is my greatest weakness.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Easter holiday weekend. Not unlike every other holiday weekend with family. Food, treats, candies, and drinks. And lots of it.
Ugghhh.
I won't deny that my mouth is watering as I browse recipes or see the millions of bags of chocolate at any store right now...but my gut is screaming at me too.
Why is it that we can do so well until a holiday? And why is it that people justify binges on the holidays? As an experiment - I am going to journal the "spread" of food at each meal (and throughout the day) for the duration of this holiday weekend and what I do actually eat.
I try so hard every day to eat sensibly and conscientiously and I just know my weakness is to pick and graze and binge when there is so much food in front of me. I, like many others, always feel sick to my stomach every single time and even worse I hate myself for it. Part of my personal goals is to over come this and learn to have a little more self-control.
Part of my plan to achieve this is to do the following:
- Bring a healthier snack that I would incorporate into my own day - and LIMIT my consumption of it.
- Bring a dessert that is clean and protein rich - something I would incorporate into my own day and LIMIT my consumption of it.
- Allow myself a handful of whatever candies are on the table - the quickly put a stick of gum in my mouth!
- Offer to bake a few other dishes if needed for the family meals.
- Bring some of my staples for the small meals throughout the day.
- Drink lots of water. (This WILL be very hard for me!)
- Journal what I eat (and don't eat)
Most importantly I am going to constantly remind myself of a few things:
- I do not have to EAT everything on the table or sample all the treats in order to have a great holiday with my family.
- Not eating or sampling everything does not mean I do not appreciate my family or the effort they went through to make their dishes or to provide ample selection.
- I have a goal and established way of eating that makes me feel good - over eating and eating the wrong things WILL make me feel sick.
- I do not have to justify my choices to anyone. How I eat and what I eat is my choice. For my health, for my lifestyle, for me.
No really (I know many of you have tried to point this out to me before...).
Below is a "draft" of a post that I wanted to post on Thursday before Easter weekend. It never got posted nor have I edited it for the purpose of this post. And I never followed with very much of what I said. To my credit - I did bring a dessert (low fat cheesecake) and I did make Sunday brunch with foods I normally would eat. And looking back on the weekend - it was not the MEALS that I was overindulging in...it was the evil temptation of candies and chocolates that did me in. I actually did quite well with meals and snacks (which I also brought for myself). It was the sheer volume of candies, chocolates, and chips I ate Saturday and Sunday that was painful.
(Note: It has dawned on me that I am guilty for my own demise because I bought most of the loot on behalf of the stupid Easter Bunny - which apparently I will not be doing next year!)
Sunday night I was feeling the lowest I have felt about myself in a long time. Disappointed in myself. Disgusted by my chocolate binge. And sick - literally.
But what is done is done. So after hitting rock bottom and feeling almost hungover from the drastic change in eating I willingly forced upon myself I decided the only way to deal with it was to a) recognize my choices and b) get over it. So Monday morning, I packed my lunch as usual and restocked my gym bag for my afternoon workout. And as I am writing this post - my guts feel much better and I feel empowered by the psychoanalysis I have done on myself.
I binge because I can. Or so I justify it in my mind. Temptation is right in front of me and given my active lifestyle and size - it is quite easy to justify treats. I also don't have much of an off-switch once I get started. Its like my body is craving a drug (sugar) and I have no concept of being full when consuming it. This is perhaps a result of limiting it within my daily diet - but honestly I don't have sugar cravings any more. Binges don't happen because I seek them out - they happen because I took one bite. Apparently I need to learn some self control.
I have always been comfortable with enjoying a cheat-meal and have never refused a night out or convenience meal because of my daily routine. I often times (guilt free!) enjoy a glass(es) of wine with a friend or a plate of wings at a post meeting gathering (with a beer!) or a cookie after a meal. But there is a clear difference between a treat, that was worth it and actually made me feel good, and a full on binge that starts with that simple treat and explodes into a series of over indulgent bad choices that leave me feeling disappointed and disgusted and SICK.
I am hopeful that I can do better on Easter Round 2 at my parents this upcoming weekend. There will be the same temptations and similar spread of meals - and all the same results if I do it all again. Reading my post below - I think I have good sensible ideas to help myself get through the weekend, I just need to listen to my own advice! Now I better get my recipes together and a shopping list so I can show up prepared!
Ill keep you posted on how it goes...not gonna lie - I'm not very confident in myself. This is my greatest weakness.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Easter holiday weekend. Not unlike every other holiday weekend with family. Food, treats, candies, and drinks. And lots of it.
Ugghhh.
I won't deny that my mouth is watering as I browse recipes or see the millions of bags of chocolate at any store right now...but my gut is screaming at me too.
Why is it that we can do so well until a holiday? And why is it that people justify binges on the holidays? As an experiment - I am going to journal the "spread" of food at each meal (and throughout the day) for the duration of this holiday weekend and what I do actually eat.
I try so hard every day to eat sensibly and conscientiously and I just know my weakness is to pick and graze and binge when there is so much food in front of me. I, like many others, always feel sick to my stomach every single time and even worse I hate myself for it. Part of my personal goals is to over come this and learn to have a little more self-control.
Part of my plan to achieve this is to do the following:
- Bring a healthier snack that I would incorporate into my own day - and LIMIT my consumption of it.
- Bring a dessert that is clean and protein rich - something I would incorporate into my own day and LIMIT my consumption of it.
- Allow myself a handful of whatever candies are on the table - the quickly put a stick of gum in my mouth!
- Offer to bake a few other dishes if needed for the family meals.
- Bring some of my staples for the small meals throughout the day.
- Drink lots of water. (This WILL be very hard for me!)
- Journal what I eat (and don't eat)
Most importantly I am going to constantly remind myself of a few things:
- I do not have to EAT everything on the table or sample all the treats in order to have a great holiday with my family.
- Not eating or sampling everything does not mean I do not appreciate my family or the effort they went through to make their dishes or to provide ample selection.
- I have a goal and established way of eating that makes me feel good - over eating and eating the wrong things WILL make me feel sick.
- I do not have to justify my choices to anyone. How I eat and what I eat is my choice. For my health, for my lifestyle, for me.
Sunday, April 01, 2012
Damn you Girl Guide cookies!
Girl Guide Cookies.
$5 per box of sweet vanilla and chocolate cookies.
One doorbell chime and emptying out a handful of change leaves 2 weeks of conscientious eating hanging by a noose.
3 days home with sick kids and a drastic change in weekend plans shreds all last hopes of sticking with my plan.
A fridge full of prepped food and drawer full of fruity sugar free gum couldn't compete with that one box of Girl Guide cookies.
And they are gone.
Enjoyed absolutely every single one I was able to grab for myself (competing with 3 others) and selfishly denied my children more than 1 at a time while pocketing 3 for myself. Finger wagging shame.
And I don't even regret it. Kinda feel ashamed that I let a box of cookies ruin a winning streak...but now that they are gone I can focus again. Phew! I subconsciously helped myself out by getting them out of the cupboard didn't I?
If there is one thing I have learnt is that we need to have simple indulgences. A licorice here. An oreo there. A Cadbury Thin now. A bag of chips tomorrow. Because if you don't....you will eat a whole box of delicious Girl Guide cookies without batting an eye.
Changing your diet to be more health conscious is an entire lifestyle change. I find it quite exciting to find and try recipes that help me combat cravings with similar tastes and textures but in a cleaner, healthier way. I am proud of the fact that I bake more and buy less treats. But to deny yourself the inevitable delightful craving now and then will only lead to disaster.
Understand your cravings. Learn what triggers them. Even accept them. Know how to get over them. And most importantly don't buy more than one box of Girl Guide cookies!!!! (donate the cash and save yourself from inevitable diet destruction!)
$5 per box of sweet vanilla and chocolate cookies.
One doorbell chime and emptying out a handful of change leaves 2 weeks of conscientious eating hanging by a noose.
3 days home with sick kids and a drastic change in weekend plans shreds all last hopes of sticking with my plan.
A fridge full of prepped food and drawer full of fruity sugar free gum couldn't compete with that one box of Girl Guide cookies.
And they are gone.
Enjoyed absolutely every single one I was able to grab for myself (competing with 3 others) and selfishly denied my children more than 1 at a time while pocketing 3 for myself. Finger wagging shame.
And I don't even regret it. Kinda feel ashamed that I let a box of cookies ruin a winning streak...but now that they are gone I can focus again. Phew! I subconsciously helped myself out by getting them out of the cupboard didn't I?
If there is one thing I have learnt is that we need to have simple indulgences. A licorice here. An oreo there. A Cadbury Thin now. A bag of chips tomorrow. Because if you don't....you will eat a whole box of delicious Girl Guide cookies without batting an eye.
Changing your diet to be more health conscious is an entire lifestyle change. I find it quite exciting to find and try recipes that help me combat cravings with similar tastes and textures but in a cleaner, healthier way. I am proud of the fact that I bake more and buy less treats. But to deny yourself the inevitable delightful craving now and then will only lead to disaster.
Understand your cravings. Learn what triggers them. Even accept them. Know how to get over them. And most importantly don't buy more than one box of Girl Guide cookies!!!! (donate the cash and save yourself from inevitable diet destruction!)
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Even when on the road...
In an attempt to be more dedicated to my efforts - I took an hour to prepare and pack food for 2 (and a bit) days on the road. Being away from home often times leads to impulse eating from convenience stores and Timmy's.
Breakfast
3 eggs, 2 egg whites with 1/3 cup diced Country Naturals Ham, mushrooms, broccoli, and a little squirt of spicy ketchup. Usually I will also have a protein shake with coconut milk, a few blueberries and ground flax.
Coffee with cream (low fat)
Morning Snacks
Greek yogurt with some homemade "cliff bar" granola (approx 1/4cup) or pumpkin protein bar with almonds.
Lunch
Salad with chicken breast or tuna, balsamic dressing.
Afternoon Snacks
P28 bread with almond butter and reduced sugar jam or honey. Apple pre-workout. Sometimes a handful of trailmix (or a few)
Post Workout
Whey Protein Isolate with 5ml Glutamine
Supper
2x Talapia cooked with Mrs. Dash Lemon Pepper, lemon juice, broccoli and sweet potatoes.
Usually I would also have 1/3 cup brown rice (but was too lazy to get this made before I left!)
Bed Time (sometimes)
Steel cut oats with berries (sometimes I have this for breakfast instead of eggs)
Supplements
Omega 3 fish oil pills (Costco)
Multivitamin
Glutamine - post workout
Protein powder - post workout and sometimes with breakfast, occasional baking
I don't stray too far from this. I am quite content with my favorites. I sometimes experiment with baking or new meat recipes, but otherwise am quite plain.
I also would love to find the diligence and dedication to keep up with this every day...some days are complete write offs...but otherwise I find that if I PACK a lunch or my containers for the day - I stick to the plan. If I dont...I graze and graze from cupboards to fridge.
As I progress through my plan I am finding that eating better is becoming more natural. It compliments and fuels what I am doing at the gym and during the day...I still am quite uneducated on what macronutrients I am getting (or missing out on) - but this will come. I can definitely say that I am craving sweets less and less each day and that I rarely feel hungry or bloated lately. Food is by far one of the most challenging things to figure out and experiment with and dedicate yourself to but it is so very worth it when you see how your progress is enhanced by good food choices!
It is the second night of my trip and I can proudly say I have not purchased any food besides my morning coffee! The students in my class want to take me out to lunch tomorrow (probably rude to take my lunch...but I will order a salad anyway). Im not so dedicated that I cannot manage a meal out - but I am so glad I brought my own food. Being in a hotel with fridges in the room and continental breakfast areas (for any things you forgot like utensils!) is a huge help!
And to top it all off - for the first time in my life - I went by myself to a gym that I have never been to...went in and did my entire workout like a pro! This is a very huge accomplishment for me and I was quite proud of my confidence and execution of my workout for the day. I won't lie - the fact that I rather jacked guy asked me what I was "training for" was quite a compliment - my answer....
....Stay tuned!
Friday, March 16, 2012
Small Accomplishments
It has been a while since I have written anything here - mostly due to lack of spare time as well as very little to talk about! I know! Who would have thought I would have little to talk about!
Regardless - I thought it was time for an update.
I'm in Week 4 now and just got some changes to my program. It's like getting a Surprise Bag - you never know what you will get! The additions and changes are pleasing - not drastic and totally new - but building upon what I did in the first 3 weeks. I have reflected a bit on my goals as well as the results I am seeing thus far...
Flexibility
I spend 15 minutes stretching and warming up and yet another 15 to cool down. This may seem like a lot to some people but I have come now to enjoy it. Sure my time at the gym is longer but I honestly look forward to the stretching and med ball molesting (rolling out my muscles). I think even the gawkers at the gym have come to accept my claim to space on the mats. I can certainly see that my flexibility will be a very hard thing to see significant results with - but the fact that I can touch my toes now and my posture has improved slightly are all big accomplishments to me. This will be a never-ending struggle for me - so I will continue to take all the time I can to keep working on this.
Delayed Muscle Soreness
The flexibility has paid off in other ways too. I feel safer with my movements when doing squats and deadlifts and I find I am not in nearly as much pain the next day. In fact - I have had very little pain the next day after a hard session at the gym. Sure I feel the thightness in whatever muscle group I worked but none so much that I cannot function. This is a significant improvement from before. I attribute this mostly to the stretching and ball rolling I do but also to the safe movements and progressive plan I am on. It could also be said that the protein and glutamine that I take post workout would help with this too. Regardless of what is making it FEEL better - I definitely value this improvement!
Strength
I often times got frustrated in the first phase that I was not challenging myself enough to life HEAVIER and for being such a sissy. But I have regrouped my intentions and have accepted that lighter weight with proper movement and attention to breathing is much better for me. I still like to feel a Hulk-Like sense of accomplishment by putting on another 5lb plate (lol baby steps here!) but I definitely do not want to risk form and potential injury for the sake of having more weight on the bar. And yet I look around the room of the gym and feel a sense of pride that besides the elite women in there - I have way more weight on my bar then the rest of them. A little healthy drive for competition never hurt any one either.
I was also struggling with my grip...and always will. With kid-sized hands I find it very hard to hold the bars. My callouses are a little piece of pride (and my trainer will call me a sissy if I get gloves) but my wrists and fingers cannot hold the bar with any more than 90lbs on it. Trust me - I tried - Gosh I hate being the one that everyone turns to see who dropped the bar! So I got straps. And what a difference today! I was brave and didn't feel distracted by my slipping fingers...and lifter heavier than I have yet. Now that I know how to use them better - I will focus on form and pushing myself to do a more controlled movement - adding weight as I can safely.
Physique
I have noticed subtle yet impressive changes with my physique since I last posted pictures. I can see more muscle definition in my arms and my middle has leaned out a little. More importantly - I feel SO much better with my posture! A better posture just makes everything else appear better in my opinion. I also have tanned a little....allow me a little vanity....and to sum it all up - I just feel better and more confident about my body. I feel pride for the changes I see and excitement for where it is headed. I know that one tends to put so much emphasis on the physique - as my trainer reminded me I was doing - but it's hard not to get excited about the changes.
Cardio
1 SHORT metabolic workout per week. For all of you who think it is about cardio or that I do loads of cardio....wrong.
Diet
There is a direct relationship between being committed to the gym and my plan and what I choose to eat. It is easier to say NO THANK YOU to things of temptation, it is easier to pack smart lunches, and it is definitely easier to see the benefit of conscious food choices. I eat 6 times per day and enjoy a wide variety of food. I have had less and less cravings and I feel better in general. The food I eat is fuel for my day and my workouts and at times I even wonder if I should be eating more! That being said - I still enjoy cream in my coffee and a handful of Golden Grahams and an Oreo or two as I choose. And I cannot for one minute say I won't be enjoying a few glasses of wine tonight! But to feel so good about how well I have been doing...to blow it all on a binge or any kind....it is not worth it.
So over 4 weeks I have established a better routine and have had small gains that perhaps only I can be the judge of. But regardless I am happy with where I am now and where I plan to be....
Next blog posting - goals. I have avoided this topic for a long time...so it's time to commit and put my money where my mouth is. Spartan anyone????
Regardless - I thought it was time for an update.
I'm in Week 4 now and just got some changes to my program. It's like getting a Surprise Bag - you never know what you will get! The additions and changes are pleasing - not drastic and totally new - but building upon what I did in the first 3 weeks. I have reflected a bit on my goals as well as the results I am seeing thus far...
Flexibility
I spend 15 minutes stretching and warming up and yet another 15 to cool down. This may seem like a lot to some people but I have come now to enjoy it. Sure my time at the gym is longer but I honestly look forward to the stretching and med ball molesting (rolling out my muscles). I think even the gawkers at the gym have come to accept my claim to space on the mats. I can certainly see that my flexibility will be a very hard thing to see significant results with - but the fact that I can touch my toes now and my posture has improved slightly are all big accomplishments to me. This will be a never-ending struggle for me - so I will continue to take all the time I can to keep working on this.
Delayed Muscle Soreness
The flexibility has paid off in other ways too. I feel safer with my movements when doing squats and deadlifts and I find I am not in nearly as much pain the next day. In fact - I have had very little pain the next day after a hard session at the gym. Sure I feel the thightness in whatever muscle group I worked but none so much that I cannot function. This is a significant improvement from before. I attribute this mostly to the stretching and ball rolling I do but also to the safe movements and progressive plan I am on. It could also be said that the protein and glutamine that I take post workout would help with this too. Regardless of what is making it FEEL better - I definitely value this improvement!
Strength
I often times got frustrated in the first phase that I was not challenging myself enough to life HEAVIER and for being such a sissy. But I have regrouped my intentions and have accepted that lighter weight with proper movement and attention to breathing is much better for me. I still like to feel a Hulk-Like sense of accomplishment by putting on another 5lb plate (lol baby steps here!) but I definitely do not want to risk form and potential injury for the sake of having more weight on the bar. And yet I look around the room of the gym and feel a sense of pride that besides the elite women in there - I have way more weight on my bar then the rest of them. A little healthy drive for competition never hurt any one either.
I was also struggling with my grip...and always will. With kid-sized hands I find it very hard to hold the bars. My callouses are a little piece of pride (and my trainer will call me a sissy if I get gloves) but my wrists and fingers cannot hold the bar with any more than 90lbs on it. Trust me - I tried - Gosh I hate being the one that everyone turns to see who dropped the bar! So I got straps. And what a difference today! I was brave and didn't feel distracted by my slipping fingers...and lifter heavier than I have yet. Now that I know how to use them better - I will focus on form and pushing myself to do a more controlled movement - adding weight as I can safely.
Physique
I have noticed subtle yet impressive changes with my physique since I last posted pictures. I can see more muscle definition in my arms and my middle has leaned out a little. More importantly - I feel SO much better with my posture! A better posture just makes everything else appear better in my opinion. I also have tanned a little....allow me a little vanity....and to sum it all up - I just feel better and more confident about my body. I feel pride for the changes I see and excitement for where it is headed. I know that one tends to put so much emphasis on the physique - as my trainer reminded me I was doing - but it's hard not to get excited about the changes.
Cardio
1 SHORT metabolic workout per week. For all of you who think it is about cardio or that I do loads of cardio....wrong.
Diet
There is a direct relationship between being committed to the gym and my plan and what I choose to eat. It is easier to say NO THANK YOU to things of temptation, it is easier to pack smart lunches, and it is definitely easier to see the benefit of conscious food choices. I eat 6 times per day and enjoy a wide variety of food. I have had less and less cravings and I feel better in general. The food I eat is fuel for my day and my workouts and at times I even wonder if I should be eating more! That being said - I still enjoy cream in my coffee and a handful of Golden Grahams and an Oreo or two as I choose. And I cannot for one minute say I won't be enjoying a few glasses of wine tonight! But to feel so good about how well I have been doing...to blow it all on a binge or any kind....it is not worth it.
So over 4 weeks I have established a better routine and have had small gains that perhaps only I can be the judge of. But regardless I am happy with where I am now and where I plan to be....
Next blog posting - goals. I have avoided this topic for a long time...so it's time to commit and put my money where my mouth is. Spartan anyone????
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Awkward or not...
What is one thing that no woman looks forward to? A physical. (this is strictly my opinion but I doubt many are giddy going in...)
But ladies - it has to be done.
Many of us are not fortunate enough to have a solid family doctor - let alone a female one. So I seriously think that many women just avoid getting a physical done for this reason alone. Being blessed with children does somewhat take away your issues with people being 'down there' for the sole reason that for the duration of your pregnancy someone may have always been probing around down there and if you delivered naturally - there was a room full of people you don't know gawking at you down there. It desensitizes you.
Maybe it is the first one that scares people. I remember my first one. After that - as much as I may cringed going in - I never felt the same after it was over. Approaching a doctor, male or female, about a physical is a necessary part of being aware of your health. And having had both male and female docs do this for me - I can't say I would prefer one or the other.
Here are some insights I want to share with you that considers the lighter side of this very awkward thing we all should do...
1) I find male docs to be all about business. I would assume this is just about as uncomfortable for them as it is for you. Female docs just love to chat. Me - I'd take a male doc any day who is in (literally) and out as quickly as possible and who keeps chatting to an uncomfortable minimum. My last female doc had a student, and a camera, and a lot to show-and-tell.....as neat as it was to see my cervix on a video screen and have everyone analyze it - I would have just rather got it over with.
2) Joke. My goodness just joke about it. No one likes them. Everyone including the doc and the nurses would rather make a few comedic comments about everything awkward that is going on than to sit there in silence. For example: My male doc was apologizing for his cold hands and the fact that he was at the time having his fingers in my armpit for a portion of the breast exam..."sorry this must be awkward with my finger there"....I in turn replied as a matter of fact - "This is the least awkward part about this whole thing!". I swear I saw his shoulders drop 2 inches in relief!
3) It's business. It's for your health. Just get over your fears already! As if this is the first vagina that these people have seen! You may fear them talking about you when you leave...my guess is they might if something really strange is found beneath your panties....but seriously I'm rather confident they won't point and laugh at you on the street.
4) Make your health your priority. Wouldn't you rather know that you were diligent about checking for things like cervical cancer and breast cancer than to wait until it is too late. Take your health into your own hands (and the hands of your doc)!
5) If you are really that uncomfortable or scared...take a friend or request a nurse to be in the room. I think for my first one ever in university - I had a friend outside the room. And I did the same for her. Safety just knowing she is out there. Take your mom, take your sister, take a friend...hell even take your husband! (I still consider this to be awkward!) Regardless - if this is your main fear - going alone - then don't.
6) Talk about it. Women don't talk enough about things like this. Talk about it openly, honestly, and truthfully. Joke about it. Cry about it. Just talk about it already! We should not be ashamed of having a physical done to ensure we are healthy!
Awkward or not...just do it. I did - and the whole room watched (damn teaching hospitals!). That was for the pap. Then the rest of the physical - head-to-toe and breast exam were done by my new family doctor (young, tall, dark, and handsome man that he is). It was awkward but professional. And focused on me and my health and where we are going to go next with monitoring things. Even the breast exam - cold hands aside - was professional. And I won't lie - its fun to joke about it after the fact with good friends and my husband about the hot doc that did my breast exam - but in reality - it was the most professional appointment I have had in a long time. I finally feel like someone is listening to me, is monitoring my health, and is able to have realistic conversations with me that also include some lighthearted awkward jokes.
Ladies - just do it. And if you ever need someone to hold your hand - I would gladly do that for you! I strongly believe that we all need to take matters into our own hands, have respect for the professionalism of your doctor, and be diligent about monitoring your health! In the end you may actually find it wasn't as bad as your fears allowed you to believe.
R
But ladies - it has to be done.
Many of us are not fortunate enough to have a solid family doctor - let alone a female one. So I seriously think that many women just avoid getting a physical done for this reason alone. Being blessed with children does somewhat take away your issues with people being 'down there' for the sole reason that for the duration of your pregnancy someone may have always been probing around down there and if you delivered naturally - there was a room full of people you don't know gawking at you down there. It desensitizes you.
Maybe it is the first one that scares people. I remember my first one. After that - as much as I may cringed going in - I never felt the same after it was over. Approaching a doctor, male or female, about a physical is a necessary part of being aware of your health. And having had both male and female docs do this for me - I can't say I would prefer one or the other.
Here are some insights I want to share with you that considers the lighter side of this very awkward thing we all should do...
1) I find male docs to be all about business. I would assume this is just about as uncomfortable for them as it is for you. Female docs just love to chat. Me - I'd take a male doc any day who is in (literally) and out as quickly as possible and who keeps chatting to an uncomfortable minimum. My last female doc had a student, and a camera, and a lot to show-and-tell.....as neat as it was to see my cervix on a video screen and have everyone analyze it - I would have just rather got it over with.
2) Joke. My goodness just joke about it. No one likes them. Everyone including the doc and the nurses would rather make a few comedic comments about everything awkward that is going on than to sit there in silence. For example: My male doc was apologizing for his cold hands and the fact that he was at the time having his fingers in my armpit for a portion of the breast exam..."sorry this must be awkward with my finger there"....I in turn replied as a matter of fact - "This is the least awkward part about this whole thing!". I swear I saw his shoulders drop 2 inches in relief!
3) It's business. It's for your health. Just get over your fears already! As if this is the first vagina that these people have seen! You may fear them talking about you when you leave...my guess is they might if something really strange is found beneath your panties....but seriously I'm rather confident they won't point and laugh at you on the street.
4) Make your health your priority. Wouldn't you rather know that you were diligent about checking for things like cervical cancer and breast cancer than to wait until it is too late. Take your health into your own hands (and the hands of your doc)!
5) If you are really that uncomfortable or scared...take a friend or request a nurse to be in the room. I think for my first one ever in university - I had a friend outside the room. And I did the same for her. Safety just knowing she is out there. Take your mom, take your sister, take a friend...hell even take your husband! (I still consider this to be awkward!) Regardless - if this is your main fear - going alone - then don't.
6) Talk about it. Women don't talk enough about things like this. Talk about it openly, honestly, and truthfully. Joke about it. Cry about it. Just talk about it already! We should not be ashamed of having a physical done to ensure we are healthy!
Awkward or not...just do it. I did - and the whole room watched (damn teaching hospitals!). That was for the pap. Then the rest of the physical - head-to-toe and breast exam were done by my new family doctor (young, tall, dark, and handsome man that he is). It was awkward but professional. And focused on me and my health and where we are going to go next with monitoring things. Even the breast exam - cold hands aside - was professional. And I won't lie - its fun to joke about it after the fact with good friends and my husband about the hot doc that did my breast exam - but in reality - it was the most professional appointment I have had in a long time. I finally feel like someone is listening to me, is monitoring my health, and is able to have realistic conversations with me that also include some lighthearted awkward jokes.
Ladies - just do it. And if you ever need someone to hold your hand - I would gladly do that for you! I strongly believe that we all need to take matters into our own hands, have respect for the professionalism of your doctor, and be diligent about monitoring your health! In the end you may actually find it wasn't as bad as your fears allowed you to believe.
R
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